80's Music Compilation

I have started working on my CD's. It is going to be a 2 CD (possibly 3) set of all my favorite 80's music. I am quite enjoying it. I am torn on whether to just stick with pop, or should I include rock as well. Though I think I could do a whole other CD or 2, on 80's rock. So maybe I will just do pop for now.

It is fun, I am getting all these old songs that I haven't listened to since elementary and junior high.

I know most people, specially those under 30, have no respect for 80's pop, but that is alright. I forgive them. *smile*

I think it is time for bed now. I had 2 previous entries almost finished but lost them...sad...

I got a new job!

Yay! I got a new job. And I quit my old job. *smile*

I got that painting job. The one from my last entry. I start on June 9.

Yay!

Tough Choice...

~Yay! I got into see the podiatrist. That is awesome. I was supposed to wait another 2 weeks, but there was a cancellation and I got in. Yay!

~t.a.T.u.'s english album sucks. I enjoy the russian one, but it loses alot coming to english. It's too bad. Oh well.

~I have to quit my job today... Another guy called me and offered me a job last night. *sigh* I only sent out 5 resumes, and already 2 have called me. It is another painting job. Pays $10-15/hr. I don't need a vehicle. I have to call him today and ask if he can wait for a week and a half in order to be fair to Mark. I will tell Mark today that I quit, but if this guy calls me back tonight and says he won't wait I will have to go into work tomorrow and tell Mark I don't quit. So I really hope this guy doesn't mind waiting. It seems like a great job though. I just really don't want to leave this one. It is the first time I have ever had a job where people really appreciate me. Where they need me. They are going to be really mad. Everyone. They all love me. Mark is going to be all passive-aggressive until I leave, making my life miserable. *sigh* This is going to suck. I really hope things work out. *sigh* What to do, what to do...

Job Interview Already

2 entries in less than 12 hours, I am on a roll. *laugh*

Well I managed to get myself an interview. *smile* Though it is one of those come out with us and lets see how well you do types. I hate those kinds. That means I have to actually know/remember something, and there is the pressure, always the pressure.....ARGH!

I have it on Wed. My day off. Then he is talking about me starting the week after. What to do about this job? The hair salon one. I will tell him today what is going and and we can go from there. I don't want to quit, just work Sat. maybe?

I will need to buy a car though. That is the bad thing. 's okay though. I will talk to my dad about that. He wants to buy a truck, maybe I can buy something with him. We'll see.

I am just excited. I only sent out 5 resumes so far.

Till another time...

Christian Youth

Sitting at Tim Horton's across from Center Street Church tonight, Mama Bean and I noticed how church people are so very indentifiable. I am not sure whether it is because they just got out of a service and they exuded this "christianness" or what. Though it is quite often noticeable, especially with Youth group kids. They have this innocent sort of rebeliousness to them. Mama Bean was telling about how it was like that when she went to youth. They act and dress differently (oh, another point for me for using my adverb correctly). There was this one kid there, with an iron cross for his belt buckle, yet he had neon green suspenders. The way they walk, act, talk, dress. So foreign to me. Since I have never gone to a youth group, have didn't know this. I just knew that my religion-dar would go off.

It was neat, sitting in this Tim's while it slowly filled up with church people. The buzz in the air was so comforting. They seemed to give off this aura. It was like being home. The same vibes I got at CBC. It made me miss it, yet happy that I was surrounded by it. 'Twas a really strange, yet nice, feeling.

Inventor of the Snooze Button: Brilliant

One of the most wonderful feelings in the world: hitting the snooze button to get 9 more minutes of Zzzzz's. So wonderful

One of the most NOT wonderful feelings in the world: just falling back asleep after hitting the snooze button, relishing those 9 minutes of Zzzzz's, when the phone rings, and when answered there is no one there...Grrrrrr.

American Idol Trash

I can't believe that big, fat, black dude just won. Sad. I can't believe I just wrote that in here. Such utter trash. Not the kind of material that should be gracing a page such as this. *laugh* Oh well.

Reuban (sp?) had the look, but Clay had the voice, and that is what I was counting on. It sure was close though.

Enough trash for one night...

My New Meatloaf CD

My CD is finally here! Yay! The much anticipated, long awaited arrival of Meatloaf's new album. It hasn't even been released in North America yet. It is so awesome! I am constantly listening to it. I can't believe how awesome it is.

It came in last night, and I had to pay an additional $8 because of the retards at customs, but that is all behind me now. This CD totally makes up for it. I even got a bonus CD with videos because it is this special limited edition one that is only available in England.

Yay!

It just makes me want to go and see him even more. Oh well... It is really great, in case I haven't mentioned that yet.

Last couple of days: thoughts and stuff

Well it pains me to say this, even more so to immoratalize these words...I kinda like Coldplay. *cringe* Yeah...Chris had is playing last night, and I was just sitting there, listening to it, and I realized it is actually quite beautiful music. His voice isn't as whiny as I had once thought. It is quite medolious. So, just for the record, I think they are alright. No need to rub it in my face, or anything like that. We will just leave it here. *smile*

I was reading an article on the way home today on the train re: the munchies and why, psychologically, they occur. The article started off alright. Fairly technical, but decent. Though it continues on and becomes an article promoting the positive aspects of pot, the medicinal purposes and whatnot. I didn't quite understand how it deviated so much...it was kinda disapointing.

We got to see Miss Sam today. That was really nice. She was tired, she had done a lot of driving as of late, with minimal sleep, so she wasn't really herself. That was kinda sad, but now that she lives close I will get to see her alot more, and she is even going to come to church with us. Yay!

Chris was telling me about this stuff he learned in his communication class on listening. He asked me if I was a pseudo-accomadator. It was funny, putting labels to things. I have never really understood some peoples obsession with labeling absolutly everything but anyway... Yeah, so I found out that I am a pseudo-accomadator listener, at least sometimes and with certain people. A pseudo-accomadating listener is someone that says they agree with the other person yet holds onto his/her won views. Or something along those lines. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. I found it quite interesting/funny though. 'Twas amusing.

~~I like using "'Tis, and 'Twas," they are fun~~

Mama Bean and I went to the Lizard/Snake/Amphibian show yesterday. It was really cool. I have decided I want to get a bearded lizard. They are from Australia and kick ass. They go from about 2" ---> 22" in about 1.5 years. It would be fun to have one. I don't know if I am going to be allowed to have lizards in dorms at SAIT though, so I am going to have to wait on it for now. But I will see.

We went to Danny's place for dinner tonight because it is Desiree's birthday tomorrow. When Des' parents showed up they actually remembered me, and my name. I had only met them on one previous occasion and was/am quite impressed that they remembered me, even more so for remembering my name. It made me feel special.

Lack of Professionalism Running Rampant

What is with people passing the blame? Why can't people just suck it up and take the heat? Especially when it was your own fault? I take shit all day, anytime anyone screws up, I am the first line that people talk to and I take the flak. Whatever, I don't really care. I just smile, take it and move on. I know it wasn't me that screwed up, and if it was, I apologize (though I do anyway) and learn from it. But when a client complains to their stylist about something and the stylist promptly says that wasn't me, or I didn't know or what not, and then asks who did it, to the client...What the fuck is up with that? That isn't professional. If you have a problem with something that one of your co-workers did, take it up with them, don't discuss it up with your client or bring them into it. It is like everyone in my salon is out to make the other stylists look bad and improve their standing. They put down the other stylists to their clients, they make snide remarks about them. I just don't understand this attitude. This isn't something that you do. Smarten the fuck up. I never discuss problems in front of the clients. I talk to the people in the back. I don't gossip with the clients (or the staff for that matter) about other clients or staff. When a worker insults another co-worker to a client, what does that say about the workplace? I wouldn't want to go to a place where there is so much internal squabbling. A few of the stylists aren't talking to Carrie because of something she did the other day that pissed them off. So if she talks to them, or asks them something, even in front of clients, they ignore her and walk away. Yes she ahs been a bitch, but that is no reason to treat her like that in front of the clients. I just don't get this total lack of professionalism.

The other day this late-middle-age women walked in and wanted to get her hair done. She wasn't exactly well-kempt and was a little scruffy. Two stylists were behind me when she walked in and they quickly left. When I got the lady to take her coat off and went to find someone to do her hair, I asked the two ladies that were behind me, both said no, saying they were busy, which I knew they weren't. They were the next ones in line for walk-ins yet they both turned her down. And everybody is always bitching about not getting enough walk-ins. I mean "what the fuck?" So I ended up giving her to Mark (my boss) and she ended up getting a perm (lots of money) I don't understand this stuck-up-better-than-others attitude. They won't try to fit in an extra client of theirs that happens to walk in and want something down because they don't want to have to work a little harder or faster. Yet they never stop complaining about having enough clients or making enough money. I just don't understand the mentality of this place. I thought it was supposed to be client/customer first, but not here, at least with most of the stylists. It is they that are first. It is so sad.

That and some of them are so phony. It is enough to make me sick. The way they smile, the way they "oh thank you, that's not necessary, you don't need to do that" as they are reaching for the tip the client is still in the process of pulling out of their wallet. I want to puke. To scream at them. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

I just don't understand them. I need a new job.

Can't sleep, too many worries

okay, it is 11:38pm and I can't sleep.

I have been lying in bed for the past hour or so, with no luck. I am too stressed/strung up on what I am going to do. Where am I going to work? How am I going to get enough money for school? Am I actually going to stick with it this time or is it all going to be for nothing. Well not for nothing, there is alway the experience, but I need an end result. I am not going to get anywhere but even more in debt with all this hopping around. I need a way to save, not make, but save $4000 by the end of the summer. That is about how much I would have taken home by the end of the summer had I gone to basic. So what to do? I just don't know.

I really wish I could fall asleep though. I am tired, but my mind just won't slow down. Too many things to think about, situations to ponder, could've beens to worry about.

ARGHHH!!!

Crushed

I watched, helplessly, as my plans fell apart before my very eyes. Normally I sabotage my own plans through my own false expectations and ideals. This time though, it was out of my control.

I went to the physiotherapist today, he played around for a bit and told me I probably had a stress fracture, that it would probably take about 6 weeks to heal. So he refered me to a foot specialist, saying that he might be able to get me back on my feet in 3 weeks. Hopefully. So with high hopes I called this doctor only to find that I would not be able to see him until June 3. Since I need to do my physical by the end of the month I am SOL. No army for me this summer. I was crushed, still am. I don't know what I am going to do. I can't work at this job till the end of the summer. I won't make enough money. That and I wouldn't be able to stand it. What makes jobs and other such things bearable, is that I always know there is going to be an end. And that end is usually in sight. I know the end of the summer, the start of school is the end, but I have had my mind so set on the end being in June, that I will go nuts if I stay. It is this weird mindset I have with jobs. I just think I need to find something I really enjoy. But I have done alot of different jobs, and I haven't really been happy yet. There have been moments in all my jobs, but I always reach a point where I just can't stand it anymore and I need to move on. This seems to happen alot, unfortunatly.

So what am I going to do for the summer? Frame? Road construction? Landscaping? Labourer? All pay decently with lots of overtime, though all require a vehicle. *shrug* I dunno. I am still crushed about not being able to go. I had my heart so set on this. Everything was planned out. It was all worked out, ready to go off perfectly. Then this had to happen. WHY! What did I do? Did I fuck up? Is there some reason that I am not supposed to go? Some reason to stay? I just...

I am trying to look on the bright side though. I get to see lots of my Jo. A definite plus. We can go camping, I get to see Ani at the Folk Fest, I get to try that legendary cider, go to the stampede. Miss out on the dicipline, the yelling, the testosterone rush, the cock-wagging, the shooting and blowing shit up. The physical intensity. So much. I know just being here with Mama Bean makes up for it, but I so wanted to go. I want to cry, but I know that is just dumb. It just sucks.

I know this happened for a reason. For some reason or other, God deemed it necessary that I be here this summer. Why, I don't know, but I am sure I will find out.

I will find something to do. Something to occupy my time. And look forward to the fall, and the beginning of school. I am excited about that. I am really looking forward to it,

My Ideal Bathroom

When I have my own house, I am going to make sure my bathroom is the way I want it.

1. The toilet paper has to be beside the toilet, not on the wall opposite the toilet.

2. The wall opposing the toilet has to be out of arms reach.

3. The sink should be beside the toilet, or at least the counter the the sink is a part of should be next to the toilet.

4. There can't be a mirror behind the toilet, i.e. when I am standing there peeing, I don't want to see my reflection.

5. Above the toilet, there needs to be a picture or something to attract my attention, so that when I am peeing I am not staring at a blank wall. (I am adept enough at peeing, so that whatever is above the toilet will not distract me in a way that I pee outside of the bowl)

6.The tub must have sliding doors, none of this shower curtain stuff.

7. There needs to be a working fan so that I can take long, steamy showers without rotting the walls. Though I would still like to be able to step out of the shower into a semi-steam room.

8. There can't be a counter above the back of the toilet. This way when there is a problem with the toilet it eases the repair process.

9. Magazines are alright. I am not one for sitting in the bathroom and reading. But some people enjoy this aspect, and who am I to deny them this pleasure?

10. The cupboards underneath the sink have to be all the way to the floor. None of this 6 inches of space underneath the cabinet to collect dust and other shit.

I was just thinking of these things when I came home from the wedding. Just out of the blue.

Oh, BTW, I have tendonitis in my left foot. =( That royaly sucks the big one. I am supposed to go for my physical test on Tues, though I haven't done any cardio on the past week and I have to rest for the nest week and a half. The doctor said it could take 3 months to heal, which is a kick in the nuts because basic is in about 6 weeks...

Sicky

Sore throat

Pounding head

Dry eyes

Tired

Urge to curl up into a little ball in a corner (preferably upon something soft, mmm, while I am wishing, Mama Bean should be there as well, she has a habit of making things all better)

Symptoms I am currently experiencing. I think I need to sleep. I don't think I am going to work until 8 o'clock (i love the way "o'clock" is spelled) tonight.

I just want to curl up and make it all go away.

Sad...two sad entries in a row...yay for me.

Only 20 and my body is already crapping out on me

I don't know what is happening to me. My body is falling apart. I did something to my leg and it is killing me. I have this pain that runs parallel to my shin bone, and into my ankle. It hurts all the time, most expecially while and after running. There is also a spot just above my ankle that is tender to the touch. My physical has been moved to next tuesday, but I haven't run in 4 days because it hurts and I don't want to aggrvate it further. I have to go see the doctor, but I am not sure when I can go.

I can see my life falling to pieces in front of me. If I don't get into the army I am fucked. Maybe I should find out how long I can put off my physical for? First I should go to the doctor though, and find out what is gimping me up. Then I will see about my physical. I think I can run through the pain for my physical, but what if I hurt myself further? To many unknown variables... First to the doctor. Then I will go from there.

A Plague of the Mind

Jealousy. It is a dark and evil feeling. One that feeds off of insecurities and is generally unwelcome. It is a plague. Something that cannot just be dismissed. It sits in the back of ones mind and slowly poisons the thoughts around it, spreading, taking over all concious thought. Once having taken over concious thought, the mind has no choice but to dwell on the thoughts that jealousy has imposed on it. The mind can try to shake it off, to suppress it, push it to the back and hide it behind other, more pleasant thoughts. This is but temporary relief. The jealousy takes the beating and bides its time. It knows that soon, when the mind again lowers its defenses, it will come back in full force, infecting the mind with its unwelcome ideas. It turns the mind away from rational thinking, the one thing that can push jealousy back and eliminate it. Jealousy brings about self-pity, causing the mind to think that it is the one being hurt, not that it is harming others, and so eliminating rational thought. Jealousy causes the mind to lash out, making the mind blame others for the pain it is in. Jealousy doesn't go away, it sits there, and grows stronger.

If it can be pushed back, and rational thought is allowed to enter, the mind can talk to others, and have the jealousy contained or dispelled. Though if not held under close watch jealousy can rear its ugly head again over other thoughts. Causing the circle of pain to continue.

Jealousy is a strange thing. I don't understand it, for if I did, it would not plague my thoughts. It causes unnessecary pain and grief. I wish there was a cure for it, though with lots of love and support it seems to be loosening its grip on me. For that I am thankful.

Victoria's smile, Wonderful God, Wedding Bliss

Move over Nicole Kidman, I have a new favorite celebrity, Victoria Beckham/Addams/Posh Spice. Nicole has the eyes, but Victoria has the smile.

Last Sunday, a little girl was run over by a car in the church parking lot. She is 1 1/2 years old, and the pickup trucks rear wheel rolled right over her. They rushed her to the hospital, but she was fine. It was as if nothing even happened. I saw her in church this Sunday without even a scratch. It is amazing.

I can't believe that Alanna and Kevin are married. I am not sure how long it is going to take to sink in. Their wedding was beautiful. She was gorgeous. Kevin was crying as he stood up there, and I almost started when she walked out, watching the two of them. It was wonderful, magical. Now with Pastor Clyde starting a new series on Marriage, and Heather and Mass's wedding next weekend, there is a lot of marriage/wedding "stuff" surronding me. It is exciting though.

A Hippo Almost Shit On Me

The zoo was so much fun! They have finished the new african and rainforest setups and they are really well done. The hippos new area is really awesome. And we got to see them swim and walk around, and even spray shit at us. I think one of the hippos is sick, and when he shit, he wagged his tail back and forth, spraying shit eveywhere. All the people standing near us all took off running. It was quite amusing except for the awful stench. But it was really cool to see them out of the water. I have only ever seen them just sitting in the water, being boring. I think they have more elephants now too. There are four of them now. And they were really active as well. They were playing with each other, which involved pushing each other around, and poking one another. I think they should have named one of them Jo. She would get along perfect with them. *laugh* Even some of the tigers were up moving around.

The new buildings are really nice, but they make the rest of the park look worse. They didn't put the lions in the Africa section, so they are still outside behind the Africa exhibit. Their setup looked so pitiful after what we had just seen. Maybe they will eventually fix up the rest of the zoo.

It was so much fun yesterday. The temperature was just right, there were very few ppl because it was a weekday, and we got to see lots of the animals moving around. Oh yeah, and we also saw the snow leopard, which I had never seen before. It is always hiding.

And now back to the fun and excitment of the Salon...