Escape

Tonight was the first time in my life I wanted to get drunk to escape. I'm not sure what has been going on lately, but I've been in a bit of a funk. Whether it is the working 6 days a week, split between 2 jobs, prepping my house to paint and sell, buying a new house and getting ready to move into it, planning and leading worship every week, planning a wedding that is fast approaching, a lack of exercise or a mix of everything, but I just feel burnt out. I don't think I know how to cope with stress properly. I'm not sleeping worth shit, and my body chemistry feels all out of whack. I used to just make stress go away by eliminating the contributing factor, or else not stressing about it until the last minute, and then it's over with. But this is spread out over months. Stress over long periods of times is dumb. I'm not liking this.

So we were hanging out at the bar with some friends tonight. I ordered a pint and by the time everyone else was less than a quarter done, I had ordered another. I then realized that I was the driver, and shouldn't be drinking. So I stopped, which is wise, as if I got pulled over for a dui, I'd be royally screwed since I have to drive in for work everyday.

The point being that I wanted to drink. I wanted to get shit-faced drunk, and just let everything go. Enjoy it.

I don't think this is healthy. I need to make some changes.