Mmm...sandwiches

I make a damn good sandwich.
2 slices homemade white bread
Light Miricle whip (NOT mayo, ewww...gross)
a good amount of black forest turkey (or chicken, i can't remember)
marble cheese (would be better with something slightly older)
alfalfa sprouts
green leaf lettuce
cucumber

Amazing. Which prompts me to bring up another point.

The proper placement of condiments on sandwiches/burgers/etc...

Condiments, such as miracle whip, mustard, ketchup, etc... MUST be placed on the side the meat is on. It should go bread-type, condiments, meat, rest of stuff. Condiments DO NOT go on the side where they will squish against the cheese, lettuce, etc... The condiments are not there for the vegetables, they are there for the meat. (veggie sandwiches are excluded from this rule, but since I don't eat them, I won't be addressing them)

So to ensure a properly made sandwich with maximum flavor combinations, put your condiments on the meat side.