Day One

I successfully made it through day one of my life as a SAHD.

I was a little nervous last night about how feedings will go, and I still am abit about tomorrow's, but things went okay today. He fed at 4:30 and then I woke him up at 9 for his next feeding. I probably could have let him go longer, but then I wasn't sure if he'd get enough feedings in today. For my effort, we drank all of half an ounce in the hour we sat in the chair "feeding." He did decide at 11 that he was hungry and ate the ounce and a half I put in the bottle and probably would have eaten more. I figured since Mama Bean was getting home around noon today I wouldn't worry about it. And as a great way to follow up that feeding, he went straight to sleep. :)

I do like the fact that Mama Bean doesn't work full time, and while that might take some credibility away from me as a straight-up SAHD, I think it is pretty awesome. It means we get to spend quite a bit of time together, and Bean gets lots of bonding time with the both of us.

Tomorrow will be day two where I take care of him for the afternoon/evening instead of morning, so I'm interested to see how feedings go.

Privacy in the Blogosphere

Since the arrival of my son, I've been doing a lot of thinking about privacy and the internet, especially as it relates to blogging and social networking. How much is too much? What sort of information is safe to share? What isn't?

When I started blogging, it was a way to keep in contact with friends back home while I was away at bible college. It was a way to keep in contact with friends who had moved away. I'd write about things that were going on, rant about things pissing me off, and pretty much write whatever I wanted. As time has gone on, it has remained pretty much the same. I write about what's going on, how things are going, and bitch about shit that pisses me off. Standard personal blog fare right?

So now that I'm a little older, a little wiser, a little more paranoid? I wonder how much is too much. I've never taken care to disguise names of myself, or family or friends. I've never worried about writing about where I'm living, where I'm working etc... I even post pictures of family and friends and my house. Maybe that's too much?

I'm thinking it might be. At least the mix of real names and pictures, along with the finer details of places and such that aren't really required in the grand scheme of things. Especially to readers of a blog. It's nice to know that I'm on leave to be a stay-at-home-dad and used to be an IT guy. It doesn't really matter where I worked. My wife is a Chiropractor and works in a small town practice. Does it matter exactly where that is? I have a son that's almost 6 weeks old, and a beautiful wife. Does it matter what their real names are? For the most part, the little things don't matter. People like stories, experiences, pictures. The finer details aren't required. Those are best kept to things like emails and personal messages. If someone was wondering where my wife works because they are interested in going to see her, send me an email and I'd be happy to tell you.

We live in an age of over-sharing. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, we just need to keep in mind that not everyone is interested in your latest recipies, or that little Isaac just learned to walk. They are rooting through your archives and looking for names, addresses, places of employment, and so on.

Identity theft is still a growing problem. It was huge news a few years back, but it seems to have quieted down in the news, and it isn't because it is any less prevalent. So just becareful what you post.

Now I have a lot of stuff online. I have stuff on facebook, linkedin, myspace, 3 seperate blogs, an old blog, a flickr and picasa account and more. But I figure it isn't too late to go through and make some changes. I'm going to go the route of changing names and removing extraneous details that aren't really required. I'm not sure how I'm going to do all that, but I think it is important. People that have been reading for a while will still know who I'm talking about, and new folks won't care.

I'm also going to start an offline journal. I am delving into the world of wordpress and am going to install it on my local computer. I've been journaling off and on for the past 8 years (since receiving my first journal from my wife, then girlfriend), though after I started my blog I wrote in it less, and online more. I miss having a record of things though. The personal stuff that I don't write online and don't get around to writing on paper. I figure WordPress is a nice universal product so I won't have everything I write locked into some weird program that I'll never be able to access when it goes extinct, as the purpose of my journal is to keep track of things so I can go back to it.

Now to come up with some fun names to use for folks. And me. :D

Trips to Greyhound

Anytime we take a trip to the Greyhound station, I leave with a great story. My trip there on Tuesday was no different...


Checking the phone messages when we arrived home after church this past Sunday, I listen to a message from Greyhound informing us that they have a package for Bean waiting to be picked up. We are heading to the airport on Tuesday to drop my parents off after a great 4 day visit, so I figure we'll stop in then and pick up the package.

So we head to the airport, drop my parents off, and get to the Greyhound depot 20 minutes before they close. Mama Bean figured she'd wait in the car with Bean while I ran in and picked up the package, since we figured it would be pretty quick.

Walking in, there is one person in line in front of me, and one person at each of the two open tills. It was the couple at the till to my right that caught my attention. They wanted to ship a large suitcase and something wrapped in a plastic shopping bag, neither labeled, tagged or anything.

When the attendant said they couldn't ship something just sitting in a plastic bag, they removed the contents and put it on the counter. 2 packages of 12" square tiles. Okay, kind of a weird thing to ship, until they say there are 14 more packages in the suitcase! I don't think the attendant thought much of it, and taped the two packages from the bag together, put a shipping label on it and asked for the suitcase.

Now, this suitcase has 14 packages of tiles in it. Each package of tiles weighs about 25lbs (when he was weighing the package he'd made of 2 he said as much). So I'm not quite sure what he expected when he asked them to lift the suitcase and put it on the counter. That thing weighed around 350lbs! He explains to them that they can't ship packages over 100lbs, and that they'd have to take some out.

So the couple takes out 4 packages, and the attendant tapes them into packages of 2, and asks for the suitcase. Again, the couple tries to lift this thing, but as it still weighs about 250lbs (Was I the only one paying attention to the math here?) they were unable to lift it. So they take out 2 more packages, he tapes them together and they try to lift it again. This time they are able to lift it, but it is still 200lbs, which is double the shipping limit...

At this point the other attendant is free, and I head over to pick up my package while this couple, and the attendant proceed to pull all of the packages out, tape them together in packs of two, and create shipping labels.

Now they are shipping these tiles to a small reservation up in the boonies. Collect. That's about $450 in shipping for these friggin tiles. Not to mention, THEY ARE TILES! Tiles are fragile. I would NOT be shipping something fragile like that via greyhound up to the boonies. I've worked in Greyhound's depots, I used to do all the work on their conveyor systems in Calgary. Guaranteed a bunch of those tiles would have been broken before they even made it onto the bus.

When I finally made it to the attendant I told him who the package was for, and which unit it was it. He goes and gets it and when he returns he asks me for ID. Now this package is for Bean, not me. Bean is 5 weeks old and doesn't have ID yet. I tell him as much and he gives me a funny look. So I show him my ID, and that the addresses match, and with reluctance he gives me the package. Though I had to fill out a little form saying I was authorized to pick up this package for Bean, and put down all my contact info and everything in case there was a problem. Kinda weird, but it made me laugh.

As I left the other attendant was still taping packages of tiles together, looking very unimpressed.

Why'd I move here again?

What's going on in this city? What the hell is wrong with this place?

Recent News Stories for Winnipeg:

1. Woman arrested in fundraising scam:

2. Teen cut with machete in home invasion

3. Cops seek purse-snatchers

4. Two injured in early-morning assualts

5. Shotgun toting thug menaces family

6. Suspects wanted in carjacking attempts (thwarted because they couldn't drive standard...lol!)

7. High-speed car chase

8. 16 year-old boy stabbed

And this doesn't include the kid arrested at school for having a taser, some kid that was arrested the next day for assault, and then another kid arrested a few days later for assault.

This city is nuts. Nobody seems to use guns though. Everyone just stabs each other around here.

New Books!

Okay, I'm going to dork it up here for a minute, but not with computers, with books. :)

I was directed to this amazing sale currently taking place at christianbook.com where there is a "Red Hot Deals" section with some awesome deals! And by awesome I mean some things are more than 90% off!

I picked up a 22 volume set of Calvin's Commentaries with a bonus copy of Calvin's Institutes for $99. This set is regularly $1200! That is a 92% savings!

I also picked up The Complete Sermons of Martin Luther in a 7 volume set for $45, and they regularly sell for $350. Yup, that's an 87% savings! How awesome right?

I'm so excited to get them. I also picked up Zondervan's Handbook to the Bible for $8 instead of $40. It has some scathing reviews on the site, but
that's because it was reviews by a bunch of ignorant Christians who can't see outside the box, and probably also think Rob Bell is a heretic. ;) lol The book was used by my bible college as the text book for their Intro to the Bible class, so I figure there must be some decent info in it, and for 80% off, I can't go wrong.

So yeah, $1600 of books for $200 including shipping. It is my Christmas present to myself, and I'm so excited. There is a bunch of Luther's sermons that I'm pretty excited to read, especially the couple on The Sermon on the Mount.

So if you, or anyone you know, is looking for some amazing deals on Christian books, check out the Red Hot Deals at ChristianBook.com. (whom i'm not affiliated with, nor did they give me anything in return for this glowing endorsement, lol it's just an awesome sale)

Failure is not an option

It's amazing how this 9lb, 5 week old humanoid can make me feel so defeated.

Our foray into the world of bottle feeding has been a tumultuous journey. One filled with peaks and valleys. And it's only been a week.

He'll typically take at least an ounce from me, but after that, it can all go out the window real quick. It took us 2 hours to drink 2 oz. last week, but the next night he drank 4.5 oz when Mama Beanand I fed him together. Over the weekend Mama Beanfed him in public, at the baby shower with no problem, as he gobbled it down. Yesterday, he ate nicely from my mom, a good 3 oz. But today... today was back to the shitshow. In an hour he drank just over an ounce. Now we think that it might be that we overheated it and it broke down/got gross. But that can't be confirmed. All I know is that he is hungry because he'll suck on my finger, but the moment I give him the bottle, he'll suck 2 or 3 times, and spit it out and start crying.
It's been about 45 minutes since we gave it up, and Jo's going to breast feed him, which'll probably go fine.

Monday I start my new life as a stay-at-home-dad (sahd), and the only thing that scares me is feeding. People say he will eventually eat if he gets hungry enough, but I've read stories of kids that don't and have to go to the ER b/c they are dehydrated. Now I can't see that happening as Mama Beanis never away for more than 8 hours, but it still worries me. I'm so excited about being a sahd, but feedings like these just make me a little nervous.

I used to hate the saying "failure is not an option." Yes, it is an option. I can choose to pass, or I can choose to fail, it is my choice, and always an option. Until you have a kid. Then it isn't an option anymore. This little guy is totally dependent on me. I cannot give up. I cannot give him back and go home. I cannot hide in my closet when things go shitty. Now things have, for the most part, been pretty damn easy. We have a great kid who is friggin awesome. But when things do get tough, I can't give up. Failure isn't an option this time.

Disrespect

I have a problem with the way some guys talk about their wives. Wives deserve a certain amount of respect, namely a lot of it.
Calling your wife, "the old lady" or "the wife," is not respectful. It is "your wife." Your friggin wife!
Why is it suddenly okay for a guy to talk about his wife like this when he's with his buddies?

I just don't think it's cool. And that wives deserve more respect than that.

Adam and Eve: Metaphor or Historically Accurate?

I came across an interesting forum topic yesterday where someone was asking whether the word "them" in Gen 1:25.
"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
Does the word "them" mean just Adam and Eve, or does it mean many people. I figured there was a question that superseded this one: Is the story of Adam and Eve merely a metaphor for the fall of humanity, or is it an actual historic recounting of events?

It isn't something I know a lot about, but it is something that interests me (all Christian Theology does to some extent). So I started reading through Genesis to see what I could find.

As I was reading, I found it interesting that there are two separate stories of creation, that of Genesis 1 and that told in Gen 2-3. And there are so many holes in the story if one were to take it literally. Something just didn't sit right with me thinking that this story was to be read literally.

Who did Cain, Able, and Seth marry? Their sisters? If others were created alongside Adam and Eve, wouldn't the others still be perfect and in the Garden?

To me, it seems like the story is more of a metaphor, and less of a historical recounting of events. Though I think the Bible is full of metaphorical stories, and not always to be read literally.

I asked the question on my Facebook status whether people thought the story of Adam and Eve was a metaphor, or if it actually happened.

So a friend of mine chimed in with an answer that provided some great insight and knowledge. (And it was cool to have someone with education and knowledge on the subject far superior to mine, validate and support my position. :) )

The following is from my friend Tim who has a Ph.D in Biblical/Theological Studies.

"It is a mythological account intended to represent the universal human condition. There are several textual indicators to point the reader (both ancient and modern in this direction). For example, 'adam is the Hebrew word for "human" (not even "man" ... there is a separate word for gendered human distinctions) and is derivative from the Hebrew word for "ground/dirt" ('adamah). These are meant to be universal persons so that we can each see ourselves in them. Moreover, the Adam/Eve story is a part of the second creation account (Gen. 2-3) which differs significantly from the first account (Gen. 1). In the first account, the humans are the last creation (after plants/animals) whereas in the second account they are created before the plants/animals. The first account begins creation in a wet, chaotic environment (hovering above the waters) while the second account begins in a dry, barren, desert-like environment. Also, the words used for God (Gen. 1: 'el and Gen 2: yhwh)are different in the two stories. These stories are intended to communicate different truths about God and creation. Neither is intended to be "historical" in the sense we think of it (a renaissance and enlightenment imposition upon the biblical text). My use of the word "mythological" to describe the Genesis 2 narrative is not intended to say "false" but rather indicate the literary genre through which its truths may be communicated (who is God? and who are we?). By far the majority of both Protestant and Catholic biblical scholars would agree to the basic outlines of what I've described above."

bottle feeding

Today I fed Bean from a bottle! Only 1 oz, but it was so cool!

With Mama Beangoing back to work in a couple of weeks, we want to get him used to taking a bottle, and with all the horror stories I've been hearing/reading about kids that refused a bottle, I was more than a little apprehensive about the whole ordeal. Excited, but a little nervous that I'd sit here for an hour with a crying baby that would refuse to eat.

I took him about 30 minutes before his next feeding would typically take place, and changed his diaper to wake him up a bit from his sleeping. We sat down in a room he doesn't normally equate with breastfeeding and with Mama Beandownstairs we gave it a try. He was a little hesitant at first, but once he got the taste of that sweet breastmilk, he was all over it.

It was pretty awesome feeding him. It is an amazing feeling giving hims something tangible, not just my love and hugs and kisses. :) He just sat there staring into the distance... it was so cute.

Tomorrow I'll do 2 oz., and we'll work up to three, so that we can cut out one of Jo's feedings. This will get him comfortable with the idea of how much a bottle feeding is for when she's back at work. this could also allow me to do say a midnight feeding letting Mama Bean sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time. Imagine that! I think she'd appreciate that.

Not such a big deal

It's amazing how everything is such a big deal right now. The frustration when he doesn't eat properly, when he doesn't sleep at night, when he cries, and when he's just generally uncooperative. And joys of having no idea what he wants when he fusses/cries/makes noise.
BUt in a few months, even weeks, everything will change. 3 months from now we'll have a whole new set of challenges before us, and these feeding issues will be put into perspective. Not that the next challenge will be that much more difficult, but we'll look back and see that it really wasn't such a big deal. It felt like forever that we were using that syringe system to feed him, but it was actually only about a week. And these sleepless nights, and fighting to feed him at night, while I don't know how long they will go on for is going to be put in perspective.

Though, I'll be the first to admit that it's tough to keep things in perspective when the lack of sleep amplifies every little problem. Everything seems so much worse with a lack of sleep.

I'm learning that it isn't just the sleep deprivation that is the real killer. It's the added emotional draining that his crying and fussing brings on.

There's so much to learn and experience with a new baby. I'm loving this being a parent thing, and as I type this (and wish I had a sling or something for him as typing with one hand is a pain) I'm noticing how much his face has changed. He is 4 weeks old tomorrow. It's kinda crazy. It seems like just yesterday I was freaking out because I had no idea what I was doing the day he joined us.

Being a parent is awesome. I'd highly recommend it. :)

No promotion for me

So I didn't get the job I applied for with the division. Didn't even get an interview. My boss had been talking up this position for months now, saying how she was leaning heavily towards hiring from within (something I'm a huge proponent of). But I received a call this morning letting me know that none of the internal candidates even made it as far as a first interview. Why? Because we don't have the certifications. Now no certifications were required, though they were considered favourable assets.

I'm not a fan of certifications. I think they are a scam. They do nothing but demonstrate someone's basic proficiency in a subject, and not always even then. They demonstrate someone's proficiency in regurgitating some shit they memorized in a book.

So we didn't get considered because we didn't have the certifications. No matter that we have experience of how shit works within the division already, we know the software we use, how our networks are setup, how we deploy images, and the list goes on. Of course there will be some stuff that we don't know, but there wouldn't be any more to teach me than will have to be taught to whomever they hire externally. I've never understood hiring externally over promoting from within. Especially when there are promising talent that are looking to move up.
It isn't just that I didn't get considered it's the fact that none of us did. And while I think I'm the most ideal candidate of the internal applicants (all 3 of us), any of us could do this job. The people I work with have been doing the same job for the past 5, 10, 15 years. We get yearly raises for the first 4 years, and after that there's nothing but the yearly 2-3% the union gets us which covers inflation. So these guys (and gals) have been working at the same job with no advancement opportunities, and when one finally opens up, for the first time in 5 years, they hire someone from outside the division. It makes me sad.

So while I'm really happy my boss but in a good word for me, she doesn't have the decision-making power, and someone higher up decided certifications were more important. I'm also really thankful she told me because I was willing to make a sacrifice on my parental leave if I was an ideal candidate for this job.

It's disappointing is all. And I shouldn't be surprised, but rejection is never fun right? Especially when it isn't from total strangers.

It’s funny how applying for that job made me change the way I did my job. I worked a lot harder to do things myself. If I came across a problem that I didn’t know how to do, or couldn’t easily find the answer to, I would dedicate myself to figuring it out. In the past I would have just called someone else, to see if they knew, and if not, sending the problem higher up the food chain to those that probably know. Now I don’t have that incentive. Why? Because I don’t need to. This isn’t a job that makes you strive to be better. That job was the carrot that was dangling in front of me that spurred me on and pushed me.

3.5 more weeks of work and I'm off for almost 9 months as a stay-at-home-dad, which is exciting. I'm loving being a dad, and Bean is just so awesome. I have a lot to get done at work, and I don't know if they are hiring someone to start before I leave of if their start date will be after I'm gone...hopefully not the latter.

Sleeping Habits

Changing my sleeping habits/schedule is taking a little getting used to. We used to go to bed around 11, and I'd be up at 7 for work. That was plenty of sleep, and I could function great. Now it's get up randomly as he fusses and help Mama Bean out as she breastfeeds, or hold him in the times that he isn't feeding, but doesn't want to sleep. And of course in those times he doesn't want to be laying down, or at least I can't be laying down and holding him, even though he's in the EXACT SAME POSITION as if I am sitting or standing. But he's the boss, or at least won't shut up until I'm doing what he wants. And since we want to sleep, that means he's the boss. lol

here i sit at 3 am

it's 2:30 am and here i sit, under the rule of a 7.5lb dictator that rules with an iron baby fist. see he doesn't want to sleep. i don't know why, it's the middle of the night, it's quiet, he has a clean diaper, was just fed, and is sleepy. but he has decided he won't rest unless i am holding him, rocking him, in one arm while i remain in a seated position. yes, i can't lie down, nor even recline without him starting to fuss.

so here i sit at 3 am. tired. frustrated. i have to be up in 4 hours for work, but jo also needs the sleep as we have house guests for the next two weeks. this means an additional two people to look after during an already tiring time. it will get better, but after sitting here for the past hour with this grumpy dictator in my arms, i just want to sleep.

and i think i need one of those speech-to-typing programs as this blogging with one hand is really slow.

he really is a blessing, don't get me wrong. i love him dearly and he has increased the joy in my life by more than i know. everyday is new and exciting as he grows and changes and shows us something new,