Monday, July 10, 2006

Scared

I'm scared. My mind is in turmoil. I'm nervous. I'm stressed.
Thursday I go for surgery. I'm getting laser eye surgery done at the Gimbel Eye Centre. For the first time since grade 1 I'll be able to see more than 6" in front of my face clearly. It's pretty scary. And it's also very exciting. It opens up a whole new world of oppurtunities and possibilities to me. Things like applying to join the police force. Oppurtunites that could throw a wrench into previously made plans. So many pluses and minuses. I can play sports without worry, wrestle with friends, not have to spend my entire life worrying if I'm gonna bend or lose my glasses. Not haveing to fork out $500 everytime I want a new pair of glasses. So exciting. So stressful. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't work and I go back to the way I am now. My doctor sounds pretty competent, she's done lots of these. This is costing me $3400 for the both of them. It's a gamble. 1.5% of cases have problems, so my odds are pretty good, but it's still a risk. As surgery always is. And this isn't even for the benefit of anyone but myself. Part of me feels like I'm being really selfish in getting it done. It is selfish.
I also start my new job on Monday. Another Millwright apprentice job. More money, more hours. The work will get boring, it's just production work, but I figure as long as I stay until they put me through school next year, I'll be fine. I'll then be a 3rd year, and that opens up alot of choices.
Surgery is thursday at 2pm. 2-4 day recovery time, which should mean I will be alright to start my new job on Monday. Prayer would be welcome and appreciated.

2 comments:

Stacey said...

Well best wishes for you sir, hope the slice-n-dice goes well =) Seriously, it will be ok, just keep on with the happy thoughts. You know, bunnies, cookies and such. Shoot me an email this weekend and let me know how it went, k?

later gator!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it will all work out great. Although it could be like that episode of South Park where Cartman gets laser eye surgery and his eyes are all bandaged up. Hopefully your doctor won't be that bad :)

"How's my little piggy today?"
"If you call me piggy one more time I'm going to leap out of this chair and kick you square in the nuts"

Ty