Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Junkie?

The other day I was called a "Junkie." Not because of drugs, but because of Everquest. Apparently since I play an hour or 2 everyday, that makes me a junkie. And I hadn't even told him that I play an additional 10 hours plus on the weekends. See I didn't think I was playing an obscene amount. Granted my comparison was relative to those I play with.
I guess that is a fair amount of my free time that I spend sitting in front of my computer, immersing myself in another reality. Different friends, different life, different world. Maybe I need to start filling my time with other, more productive things. I don't know what though...
I don't think I'm a junkie though.
And no, I'm not being passive-aggressive, just musing.

Music Snobbery

Chart Magazine/ChartAttack.com's 11th Annual Year-End Readers' Poll

Following in the footsteps of Heather and Kari, here are my results.

#1 The Golden Toque Award (Best Canadian Album)
Robin Black — Instant Classic

#2 The International Golden Toque Award (Best International Album)
Green Day — American Idiot

#3 The Blissful Noise Award (Best Song)

Black Eyed Peas — "My Humps"

#4 The Throw Your Underwear Award Male (Sexiest Canadian Man)
Robin Black

#5 The Throw Your Underwear Award Female (Sexiest Canadian Woman)
Emily Haines (Metric) *tie between here and Shania Twain*

#6 The Lord Mullet Of Stanley Award (Best Haircut)
Tegan and Sara

#7 The Follow The Herd Award (Stupidest Trend)
That Flippy Haircut Every Emo Band Has *i hate emo bands*

#8 The Thank You Much—Ly Award (Best Video)
Green Day — "Wake Me Up When September Ends"

#9 The That Rocked Award (Sweet Happenings In Music This Year)
Fergie

#10 The That Sucked Award
Spirit Bracelets

not today

I was going to update today, but I was annoyed. So I didn't. I had an annoyed filled day. It was horrible.
So there.

one more thing

Check this out. It's hilarious. Soo many dumb ppl out there to keep me amused. Thanks guys.
Oops!
http://www.airmunn.com/oops.htm

all gone

The Canadian gov't went the way of my hair yesterday. The Liberal government was overthrown in a non-confidence vote by the 3 other parties. What does this mean? A bunch of annoying polititians exploiting Christmas for their own agendas, having to listen to TONNES of boring political bullshit, that in the end, will just result in the Liberals getting another minorial (i think that's the right word) government, leaving taxe payers with a huge bill. Oh, but we'll most likely get some tax cuts in the process, not that it will amount to much, but when EI has a 500 million dollar surplus, there must have been some over taxation somewhere.
And in lighter news, I shaved my head. Ther first time since I quit swimming 8 years ago. It's kinda cool. And Mama Bean thinks it's cute, and that's all that really matters. ;)

at a loss

There are some seriously evil fucking people in this world. I'm reading this book on child prostitution right now and it is brutal. It cuts deep. What adds to it, and really makes it hit home, is that it is written by a Calgary police officer. About activities in this city. This isn't LA or New York, or some distant place. This is my city. This is happening right here at home.
Little girl, 8, 10, 14 years old being held prisoner, being raped, being sold for sex. Houses where girls are locked in rooms and raped, sometimes 50 times a night. Little girls who've been anally raped so many times they have to wear adult diapers. At the age of fucking 14.
WHAT THE FUCK!? How can this be happening? This could be happening right down the street from you and you could have no idea. (Though it's more likely to be happening in Forest Lawn than in my neighborhood, but still) This is happening here. This is happening everywhere.
How are we supposed to just go on with our daily lives knowing this is happening around us, yet being powerless to stop it?
I'm not one to just jump on any old ethical band wagon, but this seems different.
I feel helpless, and it hurts.

i dunno

i'm bored. i'm tired. i want to go to bed. but i can't sleep.
it's my mom's 50th b-day tomorrow, and b/c i'm such a wonderful son, i didn't buy her a card yet.
jo is in new york right now. i wish i was in new york, not just because she is there (not mostly anyway) but because it'd be so cool to see the NE states. I've never been there.
k. i'm going to bed.

a fun idea from heather, with a spin by me

Everquest 2: Birthday

So last week marked the first birthday of Everquest 2. Which means I've been playing for a whole year. Well not quite, I stopped for 5 months, but I am at it again. I still remember the months leading up to it, spending my days at school trolling the forums, learning all I could about the game, getting so very excited. I remember as I was installing the game I was actually shaking in anticipation. And being mesmerized watching the opening video. Only to almost break down and cry when my computer couldn't handle the game. This is after I'd already gone upstairs, raided my parents computer, swapping video cards. So what do I do? Take my $1000 scholarship for getting more than a 3.0 GPA (i had a 4.0) and built myself a new computer (though i'm still using my parents video card. shhh...don't tell). And then playing the game. It was like heaven. I'd go for like 20 hours straight, go to sleep for a few hours, and get up an play for another 16. It was crazy. So many new and exciting things. So much adventure and intrigue. It was/is another world. Another life. Another reality. That must be why I still go back. I still play however many hours every week. (20-30)
One thing I find amusing is that I live my life in Everquest alot like I do in RL (real life). I jump around alot. I'm constantly starting new characters, trying new things out. Getting bored, deleting them, and starting all over again. If I'd stayed with my original guy, I'd be near the top, with all the other people that started playing at launch. Sometimes that makes me a little sad, but then I just tell myself, "I'm having fun right? Isn't that the point?" And it's true. So I continue on. Enjoying myself. Enjoying my alternate reality. Enjoying my fellow EQ friends.

follow up

As a follow up to the previous post, and if you haven't Heard The Black Eyed Peas "My Humps", or even if you have, you should check out the video.
My Humps

http://music.aol.com/artist/main.adp?artistid=302855#

On Par

I can place almost every episode of Grey's Anatomy on par with the Series Finale of Friends. And that is saying a lot since, I had already started crying during the second last episode, and all week leading up to it, the commercials would make me almost cry. Yes, I'm a crybaby, but seriously. Every episode of this show just kills me. It is so good.
I just wanted that on the record.
Along with the fact that I'd take a fully-clothed Fergie (not the one of royal fame) fantasy over a Princess Leia, even in the gold, metal bikini fantasy anyday.

the new haricut

Remember back in grade school, when you got a haricut everybody noticed? That's what it is like when someone buys new workboots. I bought a new pair of workboots on the weekened. Pretty nondescript, black work boots, with a bit of yellow, nothing out of the ordinary. Except that EVERYBODY noticed. They parts guy, all the guys I work with, even the guys at Purolator that I see everyday when I go up there. It was a very strange experience. So I asked my dad about it, a guy who's been an Industrial Mechanic (Millwright) for the past 25ish years. And yeah, when someone gets new workboots everyone notices. He compared it to a kid getting a new haircut.
What a strange new world I have entered and am becoming a part of.

new bass

I bought a new bass on the weekend. It is so beautiful. Solid mahogony body, rich tone, 3 band eq, Bartoloni pickups and eq, just all around amazing.
'Cept for one little thing...the head stock is splitting. See the neck and headstock are made out of 5 pieces of wood (cut lengthwise) and 2 of them are starting to come apart. So I have to bring it back. I'm really hoping they have another in stock so I don't have to wait for another one.
Oh, here's a picture of it.

ashtray

the streets and sidewalks are not ashtrays, you fucking morons! you didn't spend 5 billion dollars on that fucking SUV for it to not have an ashtray. use it asshole, quit throwing your butts out the window.
oh, and you assholes that DO use your ashtrays, DO NOT DUMP THE FUCKING THINGS OUT AT THE INTERSECTION!! the streets aren't your fucking garbage dumps either.

More randomness...and explorations

Watching 2 back to back episodes of Grey's Anatomy isn't good for me. That is one and a half hours of continuous pain. But not a bad pain. It's the kind of pain that lets you know you are a caring, compassionate human being, if a little sappy. See I've fallen in love with this show. I enjoy it more than Desperate Housewives now, which is saying alot. I even stopped myself from watching this weeks episodes because I hadn't finished downloading and watching the previous week's episodes. And it's a good thing to because watching this weeks before last week would have left me so messed up and wondering what was going on.

In other news...

My dad went in for emergency surgery on Thurs. He went to emerg Thurs morning with severe abdominal pain, was admitted around noon and had surgery for appendicitis at 3pm. See it was kinda a big deal because the last time he was in the hospital it was because his gall bladder was gangrenous and about to explode, which would have killed him. But he is fine, and recovering at home. He was home the following day, where as most ppl are in teh hospital for a few days at least. He'll be off work for up to 6 weeks, whereas when I heard he was out, I didn't really think anything of it, and that he'd be back at work the following week. Boy was I wrong.

Our wedding blog is updated as well. Mama Bean is currently working on the layout and whatnot, so it's under continuous construction for the next little bit here. You can check it out here After "Yes"...Before "I Do"...Planning our Wedding.

I'm sad. I miss people. But it is so hard to go out. Not because I'm lazy. But because I'm scared. I fear social interaction. Yesterday, after watching American History X I learned that life is too short to be pissed off all the time. To be so full of hate. But what about fear? Isn't life to short to be full of fear? Fear and anxiety. Fear of people. Not of people, but of interacting with them. Of small talk. Of not knowing what to say, what to do. I'm lonely, but I don't want to go out. I don't want to meet with people. It is so much work. It is so stressful. It's scary. What if I don't do something right, or say the right thing? But it isn't even that. It is something else. Something...something different. It scares me enough that I think I make myself physically ill in order to avoid the situation. Not conciously. But there is something wrong. And when I do force myself to go out, to interact with people, sometimes it will go well. I can say the right things, people will laugh, will respond, will treat me decently. Sometimes I'll know how to interact with people and not feel like...like I don't know. It's just a feeling. And sometimes things don't go so well, and that feeling is there. That feeling of inadequacy. Of...of awkwardness, of fear.
I don't know what to do. I don't like this. I don't like being a hermit, but just forcing myself to go out doesn't work. I need to find another route. Another way of approaching this.

random bits

- i played at church again this sunday. i'm actually getting pretty good. i still get pretty nervous for the bigger services when there are close to 500 people there, but i learned today that if i don't even think about it, and just lose myself in the groove and the music it goes much smoother. when i break the concentration i make mistakes. (which i only made a few of, and they were only in one service)
- my parents are helping me purchase a new bass, as a christmas present. meaning nothing christmas morning, but that is okay, because i'll have a shiny new bass. :) i'm going to talk to my instructor this week about what he thinks about the different types. i found one i quite like. the sound is a little different from mine as well, it's alot more growly, which i enjoy.
- women that drive trucks automatically move up on the hotness scale
- i finally got my notice to start paying back my student loans, it'll be just over $100/mo for the next 12 years *laugh*
- i'm learning that buying a new house is the way to go, you just have to be careful which builder you buy from as some are shitty, others not so much.
- i'm getting excited about buying a house. i can't wait to move out on my own and have a house that is all mine (until i get married anyway, then i'll be even more excited)
- i play bass next sunday as well
- in 2 weeks i will be head of maintenance at a $13 million facility. i've been working at purolator every day for 4 hours each morning assisting maintenance there, doing PM's (preventative maintenance, ie: greasing bearings, lubing chains, tracking belts, etc...). and the guy i'm assisting is going for brain surgery at the end of the month so i'll essentially be taking over his job for approx 2 weeks. i'm not even done my probation. i'm starting to get a little stressed about it. i shouldn't really, but i am.
- my social anxiety is a pain in the ass
- i'm not sure what else...i thought i had something interesting to say...guess not.
- oh yeah, i sold my rolling stones tickets for $550, i paid $400, so that is helping to pay for my bass as well. :)

Sold!

I sold my Rolling Stones tickets. I paid just under $400 for the pair and sold them for $550. I most likely could have gotten more, but I felt bad enough charging this much. So Yay! This means a new bass for me. How very excititing!
Oh, and when I was on everquest last night, I witnessed a marriage. Now I don't know if these people were married in real life or what, but it was all very interesting/amusing. I'd never witnessed anything of the sort before.

what i want

i played this last night...it's amazing! i want one.
what with this $400 Alberta prosperity check coming, and my $80ish GST rebate check, and my ticket for going last night is worth $100 off a Yamaha bass, so...
we'll see what happens.
maybe i'll get the 5 string.

Nathan East

I went and saw this amazing bass player tonight. His name is Nathan East. He's played for EVERYONE! He started playing with Barry White, and he wrote the bass line fo Eric Clapton's Layla, and co-wrote Easy Lover with Phil Collins. He did lots of stuff with Elton John and Michael Jackson, and so many other cool people.
He was so amazing!
I want to play like him one day.

Top 7...err...6

Apparently it is "implied" that this 6 are the TOP 6, not just "any" seven. (so sayeth Jo, but not all of mine are) Oh and I modified it from Top 7 to Top 6 b/c that is all i could

come up with for most of them.

(1) Six things I plan to do before I die
become a pastor
start/plant a church
be a wonderful father, grandfather and husband
become a "good" bass player
write a book
visit australia again


(2) Six things I can do
I can play bass
I can squat 800lbs
I can be unselfish
I can build/fix computers
I can teach people how to swim, and make them feel comfortable in the water
I can make Mama Bean laugh when she is grumpy


(3) Six things I cannot do
I cannot walk and drink at the same time
I cannot wrap my head around the logic required for programming
I cannot stop constantly second guessing all of my life choices
I cannot draw
I cannot handle large social situations
I cannot be an astronaut

(4) Six things that attract me to the opposite sex
cuteness (not just looks)
happiness
intelligence
a kissable face (if you have to put a bag over their face everytime you see them you aren't going to want to kiss them)
a backbone (not literally)
nose



(5) Seven things I say frequently
my goodness
fuck (i have quite the potty mouth, unfortunatly)
i want
i love you
sorry
i miss you

(6) Seven celebrity crushes
Nicole Kidman
Meg Ryan
Christina Ricci
Natalie Portman
Allyson Hannigan
Julia Roberts

ah yes

My favorite ladies of TV are back after a few months off. Desperate Housewives' season premiere was on tonight. And it did not dissapoint.
Here's to another wonderful season.
Oh, and Gray's Anatomy is shaping up nicely as well.
My 2 shows for the season.

hardest part

The morning of the day I leave is always the hardest. I mope around, putting off packing until the last possible moment. Dragging out the process.
When Mama Bean is off at school, I steal around her apartment, leaving little surprises. I like the fact that I can bring a smile to her face even though I'm no longer there.
It is a long time until Christmas...

why?

why do we concentrate so hard on exploring the stars when we haven't even mastered the seas? there is so much down there. so much history. so many tombs. so much unknown. shouldn't we learn to understand, and to save, our own planet, before heading out exploring others? how much money have we spent sending people to the moon, or on the mars probe, or on probes that were sent decades ago, and still haven't reached their destination?
this doesn't make any sense to me.

ego boosting

I love how Jo's friends are good for my ego. While sitting in a shoe store yesterday, Anne remarks "Christopher, you have big muscles." Or something to that extent. To which I reply with a thanks, and a huge grin.
We've made serious progress on our wedding blog, so hopefully we will have the new layout and design up soon. Our Wedding Blog It is kinda lame right now, but will look sharp soon.

Yay!

I get to see my Mama Bean tomorrow. I fly out in the morning, and am there for a whole week!
Christian's wedding was absolutly amazing. It was awesome being a groomsman.
I promise to update in the next couple of days. My readership dropped from 42 visits 2 weeks ago, to only 30 last week. *gasp*
I'm so excited....seeing my Jo....:)

the only one there...

Okay, so I think i was the only person at the John Fogerty/ John Mellencamp concert who DIDN'T know that Fogerty is the former lead singer of CCR. I mean how could I NOT know that?!? Seriously... The concert was fucking amazing. The Fogerty part was like going to a CCR concert, so good. And then Mellencamp. I love this guy. I always have, always will. I've been listening to him for as long as I can remember, and probably before that time as well. He is just amazing. The whole concert was amazing. Except for the opening act. It was uber-lame. But it didn't last long.
So I essentially got 2 full concerts for the price of one (if you consider $80, a price for one).
I just can't get over how amazing it was. Why I don't go to more Classic Rock concerts (other than the fact that there aren't many) is beyond me. They remind me why I love this music so much.
Oh, and I realized, when John Mellencamp walked out on stage, and just stood there while thousands of people cheered him, that I want to be a rockstar. I mean how awesome would that be. Just walk out, look around and have ppl screaming. I've never wanted to be a rockstar, not really anyway. But at that moment, there would have been nothing better. But that isn't going to happen, so I'll settle for playing my bass at church (for which, I still do not have music for this Sunday).
Oh, and it's my birthday today. My Jo's card got here today too. :) And my parents bought me a hard guitarcase and a bottle of Jagermeister. :) Yay for birthdays, even if they are looked over by everyone else in life. The people who truly mean something always come through. :) Yay for good friends and family.
oh...and I'm starting the new harry potter tonight...so excited!

a thought that came to me today

I don't think ambition is a noble human quality.

on the footsteps of the previous post

Guess who decided to call me this morning? Fucking IBM. Apparently they like my resume, and would like me to come in for an interview. *sigh*
I applied there a couple of weeks ago...maybe a month. Didn't hear from them and continued to send out resumes.
Fuck. I just took this job. I'm going to call and see what they have to say anyway.
Of course they had to call AFTER I went for a medical which ran me $130.

Career Change

Hahahaha....once again I am switching jobs. Hopefully for the last time in a few years. I'm getting sick of this, and this one is looking to be right up my alley.
Last week on Wed I sent my resume to a mechanical company here in town in response to an ad online for a Millwright Apprentice. *this is what I used to do prior to bible college and computers*
He called me for an interview that afternoon, I went in for an hour and a half interview Thurs morning, and went in for a 2nd interview (essentially a hiring session) Friday morning.
The job itself will be working with all sort of conveyor systems at various plants here in town. The reason I was hired was for my electronics experience/aptitude. He wants me to become this big electronics guy, which is awesome because it will use some of my millwright training, along with some of my computer training. So along with pulling wrenches and being a grease monkey, I'll be working with electronics, fixing electric forklifts, and doing some PLC (programmable logic controller) programming. This is more the intellectual side of the millwright trade, and trades in general, as much as trades can be intellectual.
So yeah. New job for me. I start on Monday. I'm going for my medical today (which I have to pay $130 for up front and will be reimbursed). Oh, and I get to buy more tools. :) Any guy, and some women, will understand the joy this brings. I just bought myself a grinder, the downside is it cost me $193. As much fun as buying tools is, the cost seems to really overshadow it.
And I HAVE to stay at this job.

i'd like to see this

hehehe

the solution to all of life's problems

I can't believe ppl still think this way

amusing

unfortunate

ARGH!

I just got an e-mail from the dude leading worship this sunday...and he's changed things. I now have 2 different songs to learn. And the 1 song I was having a little trouble with, we're not even doing any more! AHHHHHH!!! I have 2 days!

post-interview jitters

I went for an interview today with this mechanical company here in town. They do work on conveyor belt systems, and forklifts, and other forms of material handling equipment. The interview went really well. I think I quite impressed the guy. The job involves a little of both worlds for me. I'd be doing a lot of electronics, and PLC (programmable logic controller) programming, which my computer program prepared me for, and pulling wrenches and fixing things, which my millwright schooling and experience gave me. The pay is awesome, with lots of room for growth, and he's even willing to send me to night school in the fall to take courses on PLC programming. I'm pretty sure as long as the last 2 people he interviews aren't better suited than I, I'll get the job. That would be really awesome.

And when I was in the shower tonight, I was thinking...the thought of taking this job really scares me. Things would be expected of me, I'd have to know things. This notion makes my stomach jitter. My mouth is really good at getting me into things, and I'm not always sure that my actions can get me out of them. He wants me to be a fast learner, pick up concepts quickly, for example, watch the sub-contractor that comes in, and learn what he is doing so we don't have to bring him back and I can just do it.

I think it comes down to me being scared of owning my decision. Of taking hold of that which is offered to me, and that which is asked of me, and going with it. No more taking menial jobs, like this one, where they don't really expect much of me, where I can lose myself in the group, though I kind of stick out b/c I know what I'm doing. I'm just scared. I know what I want, it's just the steps needed to get there that I have trouble with.

Musical Debut

So this Saturday I will be making my big debut on the music scene in Calgary in front of 1500 people. Granted it's only at my church, and only with the worship band, and only really 500 at a time, but still.
This will be my first time ever playing with someone else, up until know it's just been playing along with CD's. My first time playing in front of people, with any musical instrument. And I'm scared shitless. Well not so much scared, as nervous that I'm going to fuck up. That's a lot of people to mess up in front, and granted the guys on the sound board can just turn me down so that no one hears me if I screw up too much, I don't think that'll happen. I've played these 4 songs enough, and I have been practicing a lot lately.
But, If you are in town this weekend, I'll be playing Sat night, and 2 services Sunday morning. Oh, and I play again in 2 weeks. So then too. :)
I'm on my way to becoming a rockstar! The bass player that has no...errr...little rhythm. (i'm learning)

The Jesus Creed

The Jesus Creed
This creed was originally shared at the Emergent Convention, Nashville, May 2004.

By Brian McLaren

We have confidence in Jesus
Who healed the sick, the blind, and the paralyzed.
And even raised the dead.

He cast out evil powers and
Confronted corrupt leaders.
He cleansed the temple.
He favored the poor.
He turned water into wine,
Walked on water, calmed storms.

He died for the sins of the world,
Rose from the dead, and ascended to the Father,
Sent the Holy Spirit.

We have confidence in Jesus
Who taught in word and example,
Sign and wonder.
He preached parables of the kingdom of God
On hillsides, from boats, in the temple, in homes,
At banquets and parties, along the road, on beaches, in towns,
By day and by night.

He taught the way of love for God and neighbor,
For stranger and enemy, for outcast and alien.

We have confidence in Jesus,
Who called disciples, led them,
Gave them new names and new purpose
And sent them out to preach good news.
He washed their feet as a servant.
He walked with them, ate with them,
Called them friends,
Rebuked them, encouraged them,
Promised to leave and then return,
And promised to be with them always.

He taught them to pray.
He rose early to pray, stole away to desolate places,
Fasted and faced agonizing temptations,
Wept in a garden,
And prayed, “Not my will but your will be done.”
He rejoiced, he sang, he feasted, he wept.

We have confidence in Jesus,
So we follow him, learn his ways,
Seek to obey his teaching and live by his example.
We walk with him, walk in him, abide in him,
As a branch in a vine.

We have not seen him, but we love him.
His words are to us words of life eternal,
And to know him is to know the true and living God.
We do not see him now, but we have confidence in Jesus.

Amen.

Wake-up Call

This morning I received a bit of a wake-up call as to why I have not been receiving any callbacks from all these job applications, at least for Millwright jobs. My resume is too intelligent. Do not use words like proficient, or academic achievement. Oh, and DEFINITELY do not have a manager of a hair salon as one of your references.
My dad took my resume into work with him, as they are hiring right now, and had the head of the maintenance department, so is doing the hiring take a look the my resume for me. He had lots of people far more qualified than I applying, so there was no way I'd get the job, but he looked over my resume, and was very critical, and pointed out everything I should change. As a result my cover letter is half the length it was before, and my resume about the same. We'll see if this works for me.

Why don't people understand this?

"We distort the gospel when we focus on the long-term effects of sin at the expense of forgiveness."
- 3 Fibs and a Truth About Sex
Help for married pastors when talking to single adults.
by Lauren Winner

An excellent article by the way.

random internet tidbits

In my random stumbling around the internet, I've found to following interesting tidbits:

The Great Illusion
- I stumbled across this a few years back, maybe in highschool? It's interesting nonetheless.

A Brain Game
- This one actually requires some brainpower. I got 720 when I did this all the way throughI had to take a few calls while I was doing it, so forgot abou the time once or twice. Try it, let me know how you do.

Chord Circle
- any of you musical people, take a look at this and let me know what you think. Is it relevant? Could it be helpful?

Interesting...
The song that was #1 on the US charts on the day I was born was Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
and on my 18th birthday it was Doesn't Really Matter - Janet Jackson.
check out yours here... This Day in Music

And now I am going home. My final night shift is complete.

YAY!!!

is my notifylist working

it has recently come to my attention that when i update it doesn't send out an e-mail to those people on my list. why not? is anybody that has signed up for it receiving any e-mails when i update? and those of you that haven't signed up, should. this way you will (theoretically) be notified everytime i post a new and witty entry.

a nice way to start the day

Other than being woken up and hour and a half before I wanted to, today is off to a good start.
Canon called and I had one of those phone pre-interviews with them for a service technician job I applied for. I got my flights booked and confirmed to go see Mama Bean for a week in september, for a piddly $521. How awesome is that? And I'll be starting afternoons again next week. It gets in the way of my bass lessons though, which really sucks, and I don't know if he is going to be free when I am, so we'll see how that turns out.
Oh, and I start playing bass with the worship team at church next month. Not this weekend, but the following I believe. I actually play twice in August, and then I start regularly in September. I'm not sure how many bass players we'll have, but I'll be on one or two teams, with each team playing once a month. I'm really nervous, but excited.

people never cease to amaze me-

Okay, so this guy calls in and can't get online. Big suprise. The hotel he is in uses wireless access points that are located in various rooms throughout the hotel. Each access point provides internet access for 10-15 rooms.
The thing about these access points is that anybody can unplug these access points as they see fit, and in some hotels the outlet they are plugged into are connected to a light switch. So when these access points don't have power, 10-15 rooms do not have internet access.
When I found out which access point was down I called the hotel to go to the suspect room and restart the access point. Upon arrival (i'm on the phone with the hotel staff as he's going to there in order to walk him through the process), we find that the access point has been unplugged. Why? So that the guest can charge his cell phone. The staff politly ask the guest if he could move his cell phone charger to another outlet so that the access point can be plugged back in, allowing other guests to access the internet. He refused. He didn't want to move his phone. The other people could wait until his phone finished charging before accessing the internet. He apparently was more important than everyone else.
At this point the hotel let me go and dealt with him themselves. I'm not sure how the situation was resolved in the end as I went home, but I really hope they didn't follow the bullshit that "The customer is always right."
Oh and I got my afternoon shifts back! Yay for me! So starting next week I am back on afternoons. Sun-Thurs. No more of this vampire bullshit hiding from the sun and waking up feeling hungover everyday of the week.
And now I get to go home for another day.

Joke of the Day

Capitalism and Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

5 am musings

i wonder what it would be like to shave my entire body. notsomuch the shaving, but the end result. a completely hairless body. ok, so it would have to be waxed to eliminate even the slighest bit of stubble.
imagine the imperfections you would see all over your body. all the stretch marks, and bumps, and discolorations. everything that was previously covered by any amount of hair would become glareing (i don't know how to spell this word) apparent. all the curves and contours of your body would become more prominent.
it would be so smooth.
it would probably be cold.
i think i'd miss it.
i don't even want to imagine how uncomfotable it would be when it grows back
taking a shower would feel so cool. the water would run over your body completely differently. same with sitting in a bath, or going swimming.

*sigh* the sun is coming up. it is time for me to hide. g'night.

my day off

ahhh...the joys of working nights. it is my day off and i'm still up until 5 am. just because i can't fall asleep any earlier.
i applied for 7 millwright, and 2, make that 3, computer-type jobs today. the other company called me back, but i was already at work (i put in another 5 hours OT yesterday). so i'll have to give them a call when i get up.
but now i think i'll go to bed. or at least read for a bit. i'm going to buy the new harry potter. apparently it is only 20 bucks at safeway. and i want to get it read before someone ruins it for me.
*so please don't ruin it for me*

my interview

Alright, so it is once again 3:40 on a Friday morning, except what differentiates this Friday from any other previous Friday is that I am at work. I have been sitting here for a good oh...let me check here...41 min. There are 10 of us here, 3 of whom are on lunch, and the rest of us are just sitting around. Coyote Ugly is playing on the TV's, some people are playing poker, and the phones are really quiet.

So I went to my interview today. It was pretty rough. Working nights takes enough out of a guy, but to go home after a shift, sleep for 2 hours, and get up and go to an interview is just plain torture. So I went home, and slept until 5. The interview went okay, I could feel myself zoneing out quite often, but otherwise it went well. It seems like a decent enough company, benefits, RRSP contributions etc... but it only pays 30k/yr and I'd have to do oncall work outside of my regular 40 hours per week, and since it is salaried, that sucks. And it's doing the same shitty work that I do here. I'm not sure how many more times I can ask "What can I help you with today?" only to hear "I can't get on the internet." I swear I'm going to lose it.

Yet I hang on. I know I will find something better. I have started applying for Millwright jobs again. I shouldn't have stopped that in the first place, but I'm also not giving up on my computer training. Topher just told me Symantec is hiring again, so I'm going to send my resume to Craig in the morning.

Re-reading this I have noticed it is a lot of rambling. Sorry. I'm tired. I hate working nights. It takes absolutly everything out of me, leaving nothing but a husk capable of naught but customer service.

an interview today and other exciting news

Alright, well I have 30 min left in my shift, at which point I will get to go home, sleep for 2 hours, get up and shower, go to an interview, go back home and crash for the remainder of the day. It's going to suck, and I'm really hoping this interview is worth it.
So yeah, this interview is with a company called Energy Link. It is a little company that offers wireless electronics, like cell phones, and sat phones and stuff like that to Oil and Gas companies. The job is as a help desk support guy, which I'm really hoping isn't just another phone job, but rather something a little more hands on.
Oh, and I'm also the newest addition to Southview's worship team. :) I'm playing bass for Team C. Except in Aug, when I'll be playing on 2 teams b/c we are really short people. See I've only been playing for 6 months, and that's all on my own, just pissing around, trying to teach myself how to play. I guess I haven't done too bad of a job. And I'm now taking lessons from this other guy who also plays bass at church. I'm really excited about playing, yet really nervous at the same time. Getting up and playing in front of 500 people is rather unnerving. Especially since I have never played with other people before, except when I went to the church and "auditioned" today and played with Pastor Joe.
I'm going to take a couple more calls, and then I'm heading home to sleep.

my life...

I have a bad habit of making shitty life decisions. I finished high school, was supposed to go to school in Red Deer, but backed out saying I was going to work in Europe for a year. Came back after 2 weeks because I'm a big suck and couldn't handle the homesickness. I came back and worked some chicken shit jobs for a while, landing a decent trade job, but quitting after 6 mo because I was bored and had decided I was going back to school in the fall because I wanted to become a Personal Trainer. So I dropped a whole shitload more cash to go there, moving out of my parents house, and ended up saying this is a shallow bullshit profession 3 months into my course and giving up. I didn't even write my exams, walking into one of them and telling the prof that his course was a load of bullshit and writing my name on the exam and walking out. Then I decided I was going to continue with my Millwright training that I had started in high school, taking a 4 month, $5000 millwright pre-employment course, and upon completion couldn't get a job. Even though the other guys in my class applied at the same places, had no experience, and got jobs, because they were all over 30. I went to Bible College, loved it, though missed my girlfriend, so I dropped out after a semester saying I didn't have any money and came back. So then I worked some more chickenshit jobs, even masquerading as a receptionist at a hair salon for a while before deciding that I really did love bible college, and really wanted to go back, and the course to getting there involved spending 2 years at SAIT doing Computer Engineering Technology. I do the 2 years, graduating 2nd in my class only to find that it was a complete and total waste of money, and it can't get my shit for jobs. Even those it can get me don't pay worth shit and if I wanted to do the job that I originally went school so I could do, I need to study my ass off because school didn't prepare me for it and spend $300 US on these exams only to get a job that pays $8-10/hr. Though I'm sure I'd enjoy it, I can't afford to make that kind of money. I have 10 grand in loans to pay off. I want to buy a fucking house. I almost did until I finally came to the realization that I just can't afford it on the kind of money I make.

And the job I do have doesn't have any staying power. The turnover rate is less than 3 months. If you do last that long, most ppl are either promoted or let go. It is a decent place to work, and my immediate supervisors are decent for the most part, but management is full of useless fucking assholes. I swear if one more person talks to me like a little kid I'm going to fucking lose it. I didn't spend all this fucking money and time to end up doing this shit and having to deal with these fucking people that think they are better than me because they have degrees or are bigger fucking computer geeks than me. Fuck them!

I just want to fucking go back to bible college, get my degree and be a pastor. Get my master's and PhD and teach. That's all I want. Why the fuck can't I make the right decisions, in the right order to achieve that. Why must I continually fuck things up?

And now I start night shift tonight which I signed up for b/c it has a 10% shift premium, but am dreading it. Just like I dread almost everyday that I go to my job. I've never had a job that I've been nervous about going to after the first couple of days. They have quotas, and ppl need to be helped NOW. And when they do give you shit, it's always in a round-about passive aggressive way.

So this morning I looked into going back to college, since I'm not moving for the next year so I can save some money to buy a house. Only to find out that tuition has almost doubled since I left and they offer very few evening and weekend courses, and of those they do offer, none are of any use to me. It is now 675 per course, and they are only offered during the day.

What the fuck is going on?! Why isn't anything falling into place like it was supposed to? I just want to become a fucking pastor. I just want things to work out.

Oh, and since CBC has become AUC (Canadian Bible College to Alliance University College) things have just gone down hill. Now they are a fucking "Liberal Arts College". And offer bullshit courses like business administration, and Introduction to theater. It's supposed to be a fucking bible college. A place you could go and immerse yourself in the Christian Bubble, and pop it for some people. Not a place where you come into class and have to smell the stale smoke on the person beside you (CBC used to be smoke-free). To get in you used to have to write a big application, complete with admission letters, and statements of faith and shit. It is supposed to be a place where the future leaders of churches and missionaries go. Not just fucking anybody.

Yes, I know, have faith. God has a plan. Everything in God's time, not mine. His will be done. And yes it will. I know it will. It is the waiting, the trying to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing. How I am supposed to get there. I just want to cry. But I won't. I'll play everquest. I'll lose myself in this fantasy world so I don't have to deal with this. I'll allow myself to escape for an hour or so. Escape from all this shit. Escape from the pain of missing Jo. Fuck do I ever miss her.

tagged again

Alright, h tagged me again.

1. Grab the nearest book, turn to page 18, line 4. Write down what it says.
"system software uses the OS interface to export the API. Application programs use the API to create software"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
my bass

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Last Night. It was this really strange movie on Cinema Canada the other night at around 11pm on CBC about the final 6 hours before the earth was to end. I was tired and didn't get to see the end, I really want to know what happens. I love canadian movies.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
10am

5. Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
10:01am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Lavender by Marillion (it's coming from my computer though, I hope it still counts)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Last night, when I got hoome from work

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Nothing, I just woke up and h's e-mail was at the top of my inbox

9. What are you wearing?
my nice fuzzy blue housecoat

10. Did you dream last night?
something about computers...and buying a house...and seeing jo...it's all a big mess of cloudyness

11. When did you last laugh?
i couldn't tell you...being sick really takes the fun out of everything
oh right...yesterday when I took a call from this guy, helped him get online, and I was just about to close the window when he opened up some teen pornsite (i can see where they are surfing to on the server). It made me laugh.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
one of those 4 month erasable calendars with June-August of last year still on there, a phone list, my framed Schoubrum print, a clock in the shape of a saw blade, a painting by R. Foster of a snowy field, a cabin and the mountains, a picture of Marilyn Monroe working out, an Allied Machinists Ltd. calendar, a painting of some owls that i bought at a garage sale in highschool for $2.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Somebody surfing to animal porn/bestiality site. and just because i think it's gross and I can I just kicked him off the internet and he would have had to call in to get put back on

14. What do you think of this quiz?
I'm enjoying it.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Part 5 of Band of Brothers (i downloaded the entire series, all 10 shows)

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A house that costs more that $190,000, but not more than $600,000

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I still haven't forgiven most of the people I went to high school with for the way they used to treat me.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Fix Christianity and people's perceptions of it. I plan on doing this anyway, but I can only do so much, and affect *i never know if I'm supposed to use affect or effect here* so many people.

19. Do you like to dance?
No.

20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
I'd say a little of both.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl; what do you call her?
Mama Bean and I decided on Sophia Claire in church last week. (I really like this name)

22. Imagine your first child is a boy; what do you call him?
See I like Arthur, but the first thing that comes to jo's mind when she hears that name is Arthur from the TV show, whereas I think of mighty King Arthur.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. I'd love to.

I've been tagged!

Tagged!

Total number of books I own: 178ish*

Last book that I bought/received as a gift that I picked out myself: NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED: creating a COME AS YOU ARE culture in the CHURCH by John Burke

Last book that I read: The Icewind Dale Trilogy by R.A. Salvatore *i love my fantasy books

5 books that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

1. So Far from the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashawa Watkins *it seems like something up your alley h*
   
2. NIV Student Bible Edited by Philip Yancey
   
3. The Forgotten Soldier by Guy Sajer *WWII, Russian front, German soldier's point-of-view* I own the 1967 edition with a better cover image
   
4. More Ready Than You Realize: Evangelism as Dance in the Postmodern Matrix by Brian McLaren
5. A tie between Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab and A Coffin Full of Dreams by Frisco Hitt *there is very little information on this book and it took me almost a year to find it and order it from some little tiny rare/out-of-print bookstore in the states

Five people I tag to do their own book meme:

Mama Bean (see d-land)
Topher (see d-land)
Keith
Terra
the one you know

*Over 40 of which are Conan, and this doesn't include the 100-200 Conan comics sitting in a box. Also does not include the tons of childerns books that I still own along with my MASSIVE collection of Archie's (as per jo's order).

this is the house i want

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fPage%3d2%26Mode%3d0%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%252c57%26mp%3d150000-200000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d0-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d50%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d6401%252c6402%26MapURL%3d&Mode=0&PropertyID=3683380

That's the one I want. And it's in my price range. And right where I want to live. There are a number just like this one in the same price range.

Or this one:
http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fPage%3d2%26Mode%3d0%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%252c57%26mp%3d150000-200000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d0-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d50%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d6401%252c6402%26MapURL%3d&Mode=0&PropertyID=3628013

There are a number of houses in Sundance that would be nice.

Update on the housing situation

In order to not trap my 18 y.o. brother into having to stick around for a year, potentially limiting his options just b/c I want to own a house.
So my parents are going to buy it. Technically it will be theirs, theoretically it will be mine. They are able to get a much better interest rate, lower lawyer fees, and can put down a bigger downpayment (that I can pay back later).
It does mean that I can buy a house as opposed to a condo though. Which is super awesome! I've been looking at places down in Mckenzie Lake/Town, or Douglasdale, etc... I like the places way down there. They are close to Deerfoot, so I don't have to deal with bad traffic heading east or west, are fairly new (mid 90's), so I don't have to deal with the problems that older houses develop, or the shittyness of the newer homes (which are being slapped together so fast, they are already falling apart). I like McKenzie Lake the best b/c then I have glorified pond access, as well as being right next to Fish Creek Park
We'll see what happens though. My dad is talking to the bank about a morgage today. I could have something next month, or maybe in October. I'm so excited. I can't wait to have my own place. Derek might move out with me too, which would make the morgage payments even easier.
Work is slow today; the joys of Sunday's and Thursdays. I've been idle for almost 30 min, and of the 40 ppl on the floor 23 ppl are idle. It's kinda nice. I also passed my test, so I have completed my training and have been officially hired. No more stressing for me. I still get a little nervous when I come to work...but it isn't nearly as bad as before.
All this happiness is going to get to my head.

complete and utter happiness

So I got engaged on the weekend, as noted in the previous post. It's was (and is) wonderful. Everytime I think about it, a

big grin fills my face. I spent my Saturday afternoon setting everything up. I made a candlelit path from the door, littered

with rose petals (yes, they were real *jo didn't believe it at first*) down the stairs leading to a candle-lit table with a

single rose in front of a ring box surrounded in rose petals. I was standing in the shadows off to the side, and when Mama Bean

walked up to the table, I came out of the shadows, and knelt at her feet only to her her exclaim "You're not serious!?!"

But, being the resilient persistant guy that I am, I forged on ahead, despite this outburst, and asked her to be my

wife. To which she obviously answered yes, thus making me a very happy man.
We are planning the wedding for May 2007. Want to come? Let me know. It's probably going to be a large enough wedding as it is...what's a couple more guests?
Oh, and in other wonderful news, I've been pre-approved for a morgage pending my completion of 3 months of employment. There is a catch though...I'm co-borrowing with my little brother. I asked him the other night if he'd move out with me, he said he would. So I called the morgage specialist, gave him our info...ta-da! Give me 2 months and I can apply, and will be subsequently approved for a $150-165,000 morgage. :) How totally cool is that? Now I just have to talk to Derek, convince him to move out with me, and pay half my morgage payments, give or take. I also need to convince him to stay for a year. We probably won't move out until close to Christmas, so that will give me some time to work on my parents to help with the downpayment, and to save up some money so that I can pay off some of these dratted student loans that are plagueing me.
So here's hoping everything works out fine. I could have a condo/townhouse (a really nice one) by Christmas. How cool is that?
So this is my happy post. Have a good week. One more day of work!

We're Engaged!!

Mama Bean and I are engaged. I asked her tonight. She said yes, of course. :)
I am so extremly happy! Story to come later. Sleep now.
Yay!

my theological standpoint

This is what I received when I did this Theology Quiz. It sounds pretty close to about right. Some of the questions are a little leading, and I often think outside of their answers, so they didn't alway fit. eg. "Homosexuality is one fo the worst sins." No it isn't, all sins are equal. So ther are a few questions like that which I didn't really like, but here we are...

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 86% Emergent/Postmodern 79% Classical Liberal 71% Charismatic/Pentecostal 64% Neo orthodox 57% Reformed Evangelical 43% Modern Liberal 43% Roman Catholic 14% Fundamentalist 0% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

World Blood Donor Day

Today! To honor all those unsung heros out there. (Like me)
Remember...It's in you to give. Yes even you Mr. Requiem.
And all you ppl that are scared to needles. Just think of those little kids with juvenile diabetes, or other sick children that have to get needles everyday...

everquest 2

oh, and i do believe that i'm going to install and start playing everquest 2 again in the next couple of days. i will not let it over run my life this time, as i do still have my bass, and my bike, but it will be fun.

home = the parents, at least for the next couple of months

So it looks like I'm gonna be living at home for the next little while. I was planning on moving out July 1st, but didn't think I could make enough money in June to get started. So I was gonna move out in August, I didn't want to be a bother on my parents, sticking around and such. But it's looking like I'm welcome, nay, not just welcome, but almost expected until Nov. Hopefully I won't be here until then. Maybe September or Oct at the latest. But it will definately help financially. I can pay off ALOT more of my student loans. And finish paying my parents the money they owe me.
So we will see what happens. I really want to move out, partly because this is the idea that has been instilled in my since I was young, and partially because it'll be nice to be on my own again. But I don't really want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so we'll see what happens.

YAY FOR ME!!!

I got a job! I'll be a help desk dude doing technical support for hotel patrons. I'll be working for a company called Guest-Tek. They provide 24/7 technical support for hotels and their patrons who have access to high-speed internet in their rooms. (yes, that means rotating shifts, 24/7)
I'll do 3 weeks of training at $12/hr. After those 3 weeks I have to write a big test and then I'll move up to $13.25/hr, which is a decent wage for an entry level tech support position.
It is "technically", from a HR point-of-view, only a part time position, but if I am able to work 35-40 hours a week I will be able to, because they have lots of hours. It is a rapidly expanding and growing company. The guy that interviewed me had only been there 2 years and was doing what I will be when he started. So lots of room for advancement which is what I want. I don't want to be doing phone support for very long (the lady said 6mo-1yr and i'll be out of it)
I'm hoping to get a few more interviews this week, hopefully from Shaw and Telus, but we'll see. I won't be able to do any interviews for the following 3 weeks as I'll be in training and I can't really skip out in the middle of the day during that.
I applied on Thursday morning, received a call that afternoon arranging an appointment for this morning, and received a call offering me a job 2 hours (almost exactly) after the completion of my 10 min interview and 10 min test. :D I' m so excited. This went much better than I had hoped.
Trust in the Lord and He shall provide.
My parents also gave me $200 for a grad present (and my second cousin, who lives in Calgary, and is kinda friends with my parents) gave me $100 for graduating. My parents, as congratulations for finishing school have also told me they will give me $200/mo for payment toward my student loans. This is a real suprise as they've always told me that allowing me to live at home was their contribution to my education, which was really appreciated. So this kinda blew me away, and is going to make paying off these loans (almost 20 grand worth of) much easier.
Today has truly been a wonderful day! Prayer is an amazing thing. You just have to let go of the reins and let God take over. He'll steer you in the right direction. Even if it isn't always what you want. I'm really going to miss going on Crossover, but...

music to check out

Alright, so my buddy Sean has/is in a band called Creature Republic. They play alternative rock kinda stuff. Sean plays lead guitar and is amazing. You should check out the site and listen to the song they have up. (push the play button on the right hand side of the page) They are playing at the Back Alley on thursday night, and I'm gonna have to break my resolution to never go there. But that's okay, i did the same thing when I went to see the Tea Party at Cowboys breaking my resolution to never go there either.
So definately check them out, and if you are in Calgary come and see them (i don't want to go alone).
(sorry for the awful writing this morning)
Oh, and I had my first tech job interview this morning. It went quite well I think, and I am sure i got more than 80% of the test I had to do right. So yay for me. I'll know by friday if they'll hire me, training starts next week.

stupid emotions

I hate when my emotions don't behave themselves. They get all befuddled, and make me over-sensitive. I'm nervous about interviews and finding a job, then moving out, and dealing with all of that. I miss Jo. My bed feels empty, though we've never shared it. I don't have any structure in my life right now, and just want someone to listen and sympathize as selfish as that sounds. Maybe not even sympathize, but just acknowledge that they are listening and continue to listen. Again, selfish I know, but I think I just need that sometimes. I think it would be better if it were someone who didn't know about my life. Or knew about my life but just didn't have any ties to anyone else in my life but me. There would be no overanalyzing, no saying the right thing, none of the things that plague friendships. Just an outsider to talk to. Sympathetic, yet removed.
And I am just rambling now, so I'm going to go to bed.

it's called "kindness/thoughtfullness/considerate" people

I don't understand some people in my class. We have been out of school, have graduated, for over a month, and some of my friends have only sent out a handful of resumes. And by a handful I mean about half a dozen. In my mind, I've handed out a handful, and that's only a couple dozen. I just don't understand. How are you going to get a job, so you can make some money so you don't have to live in your parents basement for the rest of you life unless you get a job?!?
So today alone, I have sent out more resumes than most of my friends have in the past month. And as I'm looking for jobs, and finding potential ad's, I send the links to them. I'll also proof-read their resumes, and give them the list of technical skills I just added to mine. We did the same thing in school, why not share it with them? We are pretty equally qualified in terms of education in this field (even though I'm #2 in my class), so why not let them in on the jobs? They are obviously incapable of finding them for themselves, or else I'm just super fucking amazing, and know all the right places to look (ie. jobbank.ca, workopolis.ca, monster.ca, you know, the obvious ones). So I share with them. And they think this is such a weird thing. Some have even asked if I applied for the jobs I sent them, and when I say yes, they reply "well then i shouldn't apply." Of course you should! The right person for the job should get it. Not me just because I know where to look, or I put the right thing on my resume that you didn't know how to iterate yourself.
This doesn't have to be a dog eat dog world. We are allowed to help one another, as foreign as that concept is to some people. It's called being considerate or kind or thoughtfull. Try it sometime, you'll probably like it.

job prospects looking up

So since I'm not going to Kamloops for this Crossover trip I need to find a job. I sent out 15ish resumes today, and have received 2 responses. One from Dell in Edmonton, saying they will call in the next couple of days to do a pre-interview, and one from a company called Guest-Tek. I did a little pre-interview and have to go for a real interview and write a 40 question test on Monday. They deal with technical support for ppl staying in hotels that are trying to connect to the internet via the connections in the room. So I'm going to have to brush up a bit on my networking basics. I didn't do very wellin that class, so it'll take a little going over.
I've also started looking at places to rent here in Calgary (if i end up with a job in edmonton, then i guess it doesn't matter) but I've found a number of bachelor suites for about $550 which would be nice. So we'll see. Hopefully I hear back from more companies.

...this sucks...

i'm not going to kamloops...
i am going to bed now.
i'll explain tomorrow.
i just wanted to let y'all know.

i'm excellent at financial mismanagement

I don't think life can any longer be about doing what I want. I think life now has to be about goals.
See I am broke. I am more than broke. I'm about 20 grand in debt, what with student loans, my line of credit, my credit card, and what I owe my parents. I did have 3 grandish forgiven off my provincial loan, so that brings in down a little bit, but...
I need to set goals, and work toward achieving them. Things like, I would like to pay off my loans in say max 5 years. I'd like to get a computer job. After having a job for a year, I'd like to purchase a house.
I need to start making life decisions. And the resultant decision needs to enable me to achieve these goals.
Spending 7 weeks on Crossover will not help me achieve these goals. Sure, the discipleship training would be wonderful, and the experiences would teach me lessons I could apply for the rest of my life. It really has my spiritual well being, in mind. But it doesn't have my economic, nor my financia well being or any of those other things that are required to become achieve these goals.
I can no longer just do things because they'll make me "happy". That won't get me anywhere in life.
*sigh* So I don't know what I'm going to do. My parents *might* lend me the additional $1500 (give or take a couple hundred) i'll need to cover expenses while I'm gone (car/phone/creditcard bill/etc...) But do I really want to incur another $1500 debt, plus if I spend more than the $200 they allot me for the 7 weeks it will bury me further. Not to mention the 7 weeks of potential work i'd be missing, plus maybe these next 2 if Autosporter won't hire me back (which is possible).
So i'm at a complete and utter loss. I REALLY want to go. I've been looking forward to it for quite sometime, and am really excited about it. But I also don't want to have this huge financial burden hanging over my head the entire time I'm down there. And if I stay I'm gonna miss it terribly, but it will be helping me move toward my goals...
i don't know what to do. i want to go, but really shouldn't.
I also don't want to leave them stranded 2 weeks before it's supposed to start. I'd feel really bad as it is really not a very nice thing to do.
ARGH!!!

sad day

Today is a sad day. I leave tomorrow morning after spending 3 glorious weeks in Iowa with the love of my life. It's been a wonderful vacation, staying longer than I was intending made it all the better.
But tomorrow morning it ends. I plan on spending the night in Rapid City tomorrow night, checking out Mt. Rushmore the following morning. I'll drive to Montana and probably stay somewhere near Butte and then drive the rest of the way Wednesday. It should only be about 8 hours the last day. 12ish hours of driving tomorrow.
I don't want to leave...

The Star Wars Epidemic

So at 9:30 last night Mama Bean and I lined up at the theater for the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. And let me tell you, it was a geek convention out there. So many ppl dressed up, and I'm not just talking a few here, there were DOZENS of these guys and girls. They were having lightsaber battles and everything. I couldn't believe the number of ppl that were lined up. We got there two and a half hours early, and they had already filled up the lobby with ppl. We were about 25m from the doors. There were about 22 of us in a group (a bunch of ppl that Mama Bean goes to school with)
The line started moving at about eleven, and shortly after we got in the door, we saw this dude waving cash in the air saying "I've got 80 bucks for 2 tickets!" So of course, what do I do? I convince Mama Bean that we should sell our tickets. The only reason she is there is because I convinced her to come, and she has only seen The Return of the Jedi. I don't really care if I see the movie or not; I still haven't seen Episode II. I'm sure it is a good movie but right about then I'd rather go home and sleep.
So we made this dude's night, AND made $62 profit in the process (the tickets were $9 each). How awesome is that? We got to hang out with friends for a few hours, make some money, and go to bed earlier than if we had stayed and watched the movie. I just can't beleive the ppl that showed up for the movie and stood in line for hours. Ppl were out there with camping chairs, eating their Wal-mart-bought snacks, ppl sitting in circles playing cards, everyone just dorking it up really.
There were also quite a few ppl that dressed up, not as Star Wars characters, but as things like Gandalf, and some clowns. I don't quite understand the whole turning it into Halloween, or poking fun or whatever, but ppl did seem to enjoy themselves, and that makes it so much better.
Good times.

I got them!

Absolute sweetness! I am going to see the one, the only, the guys who should have been dead years ago, The Rolling Stones. The first bowl and floor seats are $350, second bowl $160. I am sitting in row 14 of the second bowl beside the stage. It is going to be so awesome. I joined the fan club yesterday just so I would have access to the pre-sale that started this morning. It was $100, but it guarenteed us seats, and an additional $25 per person for guarenteed seats is totally worth it.
So yeah, at the end of October, I'll be one of millions of ppl that have seen the Stones over the past 40ish years. And it will be righteous!

Fuckin' Rights!

The Rolling Stones are coming to Calgary! And I'm gonna be there. Tickets range from $60-$350 (60,99,160,350). If I get a fan club membership for $100, I will have access to presale tickets tomorrow at 9:00 am. So I'm probably going with my parents and my aunt, so that's only an additional $25 per person, and it GUARANTEES us seats. I think we're going for the $160 section, so that's about $200/ticket, hopefully some of which my parents will subsidize as a birthday present (here's hoping). But I absolutely CANNOT miss seeing the stones!

Concert Announcement

Meatloaf is touring this summer/fall! I have to go! I am going! I don't know when, or where, but I have to! So VERY VERY EXCITING!!
On a less happy note, Tegan and Sara with the Killers are sold out...:(

it's official...I'm a Computer Engineering Technologist!

I just received my final marks for this semester:
Peripherals A+
Networks B+
Posix A-
Technical Communications A+
Project management A
Project Design A-

This gives me a 3.76 for this semester, which is the lowest I've ever gotten. (3.78 last semester)
So I graduate with a 3.85, which I guess is okay. Liveable anyway. I progressivly went downhill over the course of my program. Started out with a 4.0, then a 3.85 (amazing what 2 A-'s will do to your mark), then 3.78 and 3.76. But I only got 2 B+'s and 6 A-'s, the rest are A's and A+'s.
What pisses me off is that starting my third semester they dropped the mark required to get an A from 85 to 80 percent, meaning I should have a 4.0 for my second semester. But there is no sense crying over spilled milk. I'm done and that is what matters. No I just have to get a job. Anyone have any connections in the computer industry?

And how many illegal aliens are working in the states with FAR less education than me?

Why do customs/immigration officers think they are hot shit? Why are they so arrogant as to beleive that their country is the best in the world, and that anyone coming into their country "obviously" wants to stay there and get a job, legal or not?
Mama Bean and I were detained at the border for more than an hour on Sunday afternoon on suspicision that upon allowing me to enter this amazing country of theirs, I might just decide to stay down here and get myself a job. Apparently because I just graduated, have no job, no permanent residence (liveing at home doesn't count), and my girlfriend is going to school down here. Now I have never been harassed crossing the border before, granted I've never done it in a car, but still...
They also proceeded to dig through my entire car, including all my clothes (messing them up, and wrinkling everything) I am not sure what they were looking for, or why they were so hell bent on making my life miserable.
I mean seriously, isn't that a little arrogant to think that just because they think I have nothing to go home to I'm going to try and become an illegal alien in their country?
You should have seen the look on the customs lady's face when, after grilling me about getting a job in the states, she asked me why I didn't want to get a job down here, and my subsequent response "Because I don't want to live in the States." It was priceless.
Stupid fucking U.S. Customs officers with nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon than to harass someone who is driving his girlfriend back to school, and just wants to hang out and visit for a couple of weeks.

Yay!

Tamara and Tyrel got married today.
Mama Bean is here.
We are leaving tomorrow to drive to Iowa.
25 hours of driving in 2 days.
2 glorious weeks I will get to spend with my Jo.
Sleep now. Leave in 7 hours.

I'm done!

All done. I am now officially a Computer Engineering Technologist. Yay for me! It's so awesome.
Now if only I could get myself a job...

concert aftermath

my ears are full of cotton. cotton that can only be pierced by sharp noises. anything with tone gets through and pierces my eardrums. anything with bass is muffled. there is a continuous hissing in my ears.
and on further recollection, the tea party isn't even that great. i mean they are most excellent musicians, but i don't much care for the music, and it is made all the worse when you feel like your ears are going to start bleeding.
i do hope i haven't done much permanent damage...but they still hurt.

i wish there was a quick cure for temporary deafness

2 o'clock in the am.
so very, very tired.
one exam down, 2 to go.
next exam in 11 hours.
ears won't stop ringing.
listened to a 2 hour set by the tea party.
head 3 feet from speakers.
body front row, 2 feet from stage.
i think my ears want to bleed.
their bass player is amazing. i want to be like him.
i also saw project orange (accent on the orange), a band fro quebec that is apparently climbing the much music charts.
broke my 5 year, never gone to cowboys spree. to add insult to injury i had to stand in line out side of it.
on the plus side i was frisked by a pretty girl with very little on. (bar wench that was manning the metal detector)
time to sleep.
please...let the ringing stop.

what the fuck is wrong with people?!?

why the fuck do people ask my opinion and advice about computers and then not take heed of it??!?!
SERIOUSLY!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

what a waste of my fucking time...

what NOT to do at a redlight

So just a friendly warning to you all: Don't run a red light if a cop is sitting there stopped at it.
As I was driving home from work last night the light changed while I was still quite a way, but I didn't stop. It was a mixture of not caring, being lazy and not wanting to stop, and not really paying attention. That is until I went through the light and looked over to see a police car stopped at the light facing the other direction.
So yeah, he pulled me over, asked my why I ran it to which i replied that I wasn't paying attention. He took my license, presumably looked me up on the computer, and came back and let me go with a warning, telling me he saved me $287 (the fine for running a red)
That's right, I ran a red light in front of a cop, told him the reason was because I wasn't paying attention, and he let me off with a warning. I guess he was feeling nice, and because my record is clean I got off. How friggin awesome is that?!? Someone was looking over me last night.

good ol' classic rock station

Sunday nights at 11, Q-107, the classic rock station, plays a show called "Legends of Classic Rock." This past Sunday they had a "Beginners Guide to REM." It was awesome.

what kind of crack were the cardinals smoking?

He's 78. Life expectancy for males in the US in 2001 was 77. Given that he's European, and it is not 25, life expectancy is probably 78 or 79. Which means he's already there. Why would you elect someone to become pope when they are at the end of their life? What a waste of time and money and people's emotions. There is just going to be another massive funeral that costs massive amounts of money in the next few years. Seriously...WHAT THE FUCK!?!?
He is the oldest elected since Clement XII, who was chosen in 1730 at 78, but was only 3 months older.
Benedict the 16th? Come on now... What kind of a weak ass name is that? Who wants to be the 16th? Why couldn't they have chosen a younger, more dynamic dude to be pope? He would have chosen a better name too.
And to top it off he's an ex-nazi. He's says he was "forced" to become a Nazi. No young man, growing up in war times is "forced" to be part of the war. They want to be part of it. They long for it. What a load of bullshit.
Fuck this is dumb....what a fucking waste...

did you know...

did you know that tattooing was just recently leaglized in South Carolina? I didn't even know tattooing was illegal anywhere. I need to check into this more as it is kinda interesting.
Just some interesting trivia...

so late...or early

it is 3:14am and i'm finally going to bed. our final report is as good as it is going to get. final proofreading and printing and binding in the morning. thank you God it is over.
mostly.

Irish Wristwatch

Say "Irish Wristwatch" out loud.
Let me know what you think.

picking your nose in public is still gross...

Alright, for all you nose-pickers out there, you have a medical friend saying that you are on the path to healthiness. This "crackpot" Austrian doctor says "we are to encourage our kids to pick their noses, and that eating it will even boost your immune system."
Picking your nose when no one is looking, or in private is okay. Eating it I still find disgusting.

an e-mail i just received

I just received and e-mail that said the following, and I quote,
"I was in the shower, and I thought this up. Don't ask me why there, or any other questions. Its 11:34pm and I wrote this up. Enjoy, whether you think its funny or not.

I am white rant

Hey, I am not a thug, a player, or a pimp
I call my acquaintances friends, not bro’s or bra’s
I have girls as friends, not hoe’s or bitches
And I don’t know the latest tracks by Jay Z, 50 Cent, or Dr Dre
I live in my house, not my crib, in a neighborhood, not the projects
I like the police, black people, and the Chinese
I don’t have gats, crack or the cheeva
And I don’t know T, J-J, or Big Dawg
I drive a Toyota not a Caddy, and I eat chicken AND steak
I do this not to pry or prod
I do this because
I am white, and I can admit it.

Greg Zibin

Pass this on, just for the shear fuck of it..."

What strange friends I have...

waiter rant

This guy is an amazing writer. He has a blog call Waiter Rant.
It is an amazing piece of work. He is an excellent writer/storyteller. I just found it the other day, and have been skimming the archives, there is so much interesting stuff to read. Here is an interesting one I found on tea drinkers.
So check out his site, let me know what you think. I quite enjoy it.
Oh, and I got my friend Keith interested in this whole blogging concept and he started one. There is a link on the right.

coments vs. guestbook

So the age old conflict has risen to the surface once again, to leave your mark in the guestbook, or in the comments after each entry...
Each has its own unique attributes setting it apart from the other. The comments allow you to comment on a specific entry, while the guestbook allows you to make general comments.
I kinda like the comments because then you can see which entry your message pertains to, and you can just leave any general comments in the latest entry.
But it is entirely up to you...comment or guestbook it, your choice.

this isn't going to work

I need a brighter template. I can't sit here and go on about how wonderful strawberries are, and post it on this dreary, dark page. It just doesn't work.
So once again, I am on a journey to find a new design. Blogger is a little weird with it's code, a little more difficult to pick up, but I'll try, and maybe come up with a cool design for myself. :)

mmm....strawberries

I had the best strawberries this morning. They were so wonderfully delicious. Big. Juicy. Red. And oh-so-yummy! I can't believe how good they were. They were just so wonderful. I had some last week as well, but they just didn't cut it. I mean they were good and everything, as strawberries always are, and they were the first I've had since last season, but these were so much better. They just blew me away. Mmmmm....I love fresh strawberries.

i'm going to Kamloops!

For that crossover thing this summer I get to go to Kamloops! So EXCITING!!

almost there

So it is kind of a double-edge sword. I really want the pope to die, but I feel bad because it is an old man we are talking about here. What I really want is for there to be a new pope, and that won't happen unless this one dies. So I feel bad for wanting a sick old man to die, but on the other hand HURRY THE FUCK UP! Jesus is calling, you know you wanna go.
On a completely unrelated note:
Electronic Music, where have you been all my life! I'm going to an IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) show tonight. It should be interesting. I've been emersing myself in the electronic music culture today, it is awesome. So much good music. I'll let you know how it goes.

death...finally

She's Dead! About time. This bullshit can finally end. Now if only the pope would die...

Shitty sorta day today

So I gues my attitude problem hasn't gone away as I had hoped, I just haven't had anyone call upon it in awhile. Bosses should know, that if people are talking and working, and you tell them to stop talking and work harder, that I am just going to work slower. And if you talk to be, don't expect a civil answer. So yeah, attitude still there, and I don't like my boss. I didn't before anyway, but I didn't have an excuse then. Now I do.
And I somehow got a flat tire today... I park at Topher's place (Sunnyside) on days that I work so that I have my car downtown to take to work. Today I pulled up and there was this dude sitting in his truck (all official, like he owned the place or something), and I knew he was gonna say something about me just pulling in, parking, and walking away, as it is a private parking lot. And he did, and was attitudy about it, so I explained to him, and was not the most civil about it, and left to go about my day. I show up at the end of the day to go to work and I have a flat tire. I don't know why. I figured at first that this guy, who thinks he's all important and probably walks around with a stick up his ass all day (hey, it sounds just like my boss, fancy that) let the air out of my tire, but it could also be that I might have driven over something. It was nice that I have CAA now, so I just called them and he changed my tire for me, cause I hate the jack that cars come with, and since I'm paying for the service, I might as well use it.
Oh, and I got a 64 on my posix quiz and a 68 on my networks quiz. The apathy has set in and I just want to get out of there. 4 more weeks and I'm done. I can graduate and get away from this place. YAY!
But now I'm tired, and going to sleep...

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter Everybody!
I have to get up in 6.5 hours for church, so I should be getting to bed. My parents just got back from Montreal with some really nice pictures of Notre Dame. That place is amazing. I want to see it. My little brother just graduated from Basic, and is off to Armour school now in Gaugetown, NB. So good night, and God bless. I hope you are all enjoying your long weekend.
side note: I need to find out why the Jews don't believe Jesus is Christ. I wonder if there was some prophecies or something He didn't fulfill. I'll have to look into it

my new design

After much perusing of templates I have decided on this one. C-Lo was right when she said Blogskins is full of stuff for little teeny-bopper girls. And it is even more difficult to find something that could be used by a guy. I guess there aren't many of us out there doing this.
So let me know what you think. I know it is really dark, and I'm not such a dark person, but I think it's kinda cool. Maybe I'll fiddle with the colors at a later time. But for now, here it is...

i guess it's fair , but it still sucks

This is the equation I have come up with
123km/h + 100km/h speed limit + police speed trap = $140 ticket in the mail.
But I can't really complain. I speed all the time, and this is the first time I have been caught. And since it was a multanova (camera), I don't get any demerits. So I will accept the consequences of my actions and life will go on. I still think it is retarded that the Calgary Police have handed out over 1000 tickets in the past 2 weeks on Deerfoot. I think it is ppl that drive too slow that is screwing things up. They should let us who know how to drive, and do it well, continue without obstruction.
Oh, and I plan on having a new template soon, we'll see what i can come up with.