Thursday, August 11, 2005

post-interview jitters

I went for an interview today with this mechanical company here in town. They do work on conveyor belt systems, and forklifts, and other forms of material handling equipment. The interview went really well. I think I quite impressed the guy. The job involves a little of both worlds for me. I'd be doing a lot of electronics, and PLC (programmable logic controller) programming, which my computer program prepared me for, and pulling wrenches and fixing things, which my millwright schooling and experience gave me. The pay is awesome, with lots of room for growth, and he's even willing to send me to night school in the fall to take courses on PLC programming. I'm pretty sure as long as the last 2 people he interviews aren't better suited than I, I'll get the job. That would be really awesome.

And when I was in the shower tonight, I was thinking...the thought of taking this job really scares me. Things would be expected of me, I'd have to know things. This notion makes my stomach jitter. My mouth is really good at getting me into things, and I'm not always sure that my actions can get me out of them. He wants me to be a fast learner, pick up concepts quickly, for example, watch the sub-contractor that comes in, and learn what he is doing so we don't have to bring him back and I can just do it.

I think it comes down to me being scared of owning my decision. Of taking hold of that which is offered to me, and that which is asked of me, and going with it. No more taking menial jobs, like this one, where they don't really expect much of me, where I can lose myself in the group, though I kind of stick out b/c I know what I'm doing. I'm just scared. I know what I want, it's just the steps needed to get there that I have trouble with.

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