Change

Last weekend I went to this huge Christian conference in Edmonton. I had never been to a big Christian conference before, with workshops, and key speakers and such, it was quite the experience. And at the end of the weekend, I left with an altered view of life. I chose to walk away having realized, (and have been for a while, this was sort of a culmination of it) that life isn't about me. Life is about others. Life is about loving others, caring for others, giving to others, serving others. God did not give me this wonderfully deep pool of patience to improve the quality of my life. He gave it to me so that I may share it with others. Sure, I have my needs and wants, but they are second to those of other people. I have to trust that in the same way that I am reaching out to others, so to will people reach out to me. It is the circle that is community. That is love. That HAS to be love. We live in this society that is all about "me first".
It seems that in this "me first" psyche, we only give our excess. We want to establish a secure foundation for ourselves first, before helping others. We need to be willing to make sacrifices, to give not just of our excess. It is a place of extremes, of those that know suffering, and those that don't. There shouldn't be these extremes, there should be some sort of compromise, some sort of middle.
I'm not sure where this is going. But I do know that I am not living life properly. I am not putting others before me in the way that I need to be. Things need to change, and I am going to start with me.