Thursday, June 18, 2009

Peni

You know what are weird? Penises. (Peni?) Penises and their sidekick the testes.
There's no way male genitalia is the product of evolution. We went from little organisms that mated by touching surfaces to having these dangly things between our legs that we stick into the hole of our mate? Nope, I call bullshit. Nobody but a God with a sense of humor created these wrinkly little pieces of skin and flesh that hang between a mans legs.

Seriously, they are so weird. Dangly little bits of of skin and flesh that facilitate in urination and baby-making? For 90% of your life they do nothing but get in the way. When you are young they pick the most inopportune time to make their presence known, and when you are old they pick and choose when they want to make their presence known, if at all. And why does it just hang there? Why didn't we get a pouch or something where we could tuck it up out or harms way? Why is something that is so vitally important the weakest link? Everything else has hard bones or even cartilage. Peni is spongy tissue that fills with blood to get hard. There is nothing in terms of self preservation. Thank you Lorainna Bobbit for teaching us this.

I've never understood the appeal of them, probably because I'm straight, but seriously... I just don't get it. I'm glad women do, but I think it will always remain a mystery to me.

And then there is the penis' best buddy and faithful companion, the testes. The testes are, without question, the most important part of the male sexual reproductive system, and they are protected by a hairy (usually), wrinkly (always), sack of skin. I'm mean, "C'MON!" A wrinkly, hairy sack of thin skin to protect these most important (and pain sensitive) or organs? What about some armor-plating, or even better, why aren't they inside of our bodies with the other vital organs? Why are they dangling out in the breeze, without a care in the world? Don't they understand how important they are? And how much it HURTS when they get injured? It doesn't even take much to injure them, they are friggin delicate! Why are they outside of my body cavity?!?

But it is here to stay, and we've grown quite attached so I think I'll keep it. I just think they could have been better designed in the first place. And while I'll never understand the appeal of them, I'm glad my wife does. :)

7 comments:

Nathan said...

I believe the plural is penia ;-)

digger_tag said...

1. It's penii.
2. Yes, they're weird.
3. Is it weird that I don't find penii unattractive? As long as it's not absurd looking, which mine isn't, I'm alright with the sight of other men's wangs. Especially my own.
4. Wang.

The Best's said...

I don't know if I have ever laughed out loud at a post before....Your funny Mr Christopher.

christopher said...

There really should be a better plural form. :)

No, it isn't weird to not find it unattractive. I wouldn't say I find them unattractive just not attractive, and strange.

I'm glad I can make you laugh Miss Tasha. :)

SkippyMom said...

um...i didnt' have the balls to comment on this yesterday...heehee...oh yeah, don't have those anyway ;P

this post was hysterical and so off the wall for you - i guess i should say thanks for sharing?

srsly? very funny - loved it.

I SWEAR TO ALL THAT MY VERIFICATION WORD IS: NONTUS

Respell? NO NUTS! bwahahahahahaa

Nathan said...

@Skippy,
awesome, and I just had to post too.

CAPTCH: suckive

wow, man is that suggestive... you just can't make that up.

Dave said...

LOL!