A jumble of thoughts

I don't think that the guy at CBC will ever know how much they did for me. Most of them thought I was this crazy rebel kid, that swore too much and didn't follow the rules. I know none of them thought badly of me, but I know they wondered. I spent most of my time there with my eyes closed. Judging ppl and ideas when should have been opening my eyes to new ideas, and ways to look at things. Still evaluating things critically, but not looking at everything as if it were wrong before even giving it a chance.

I don't know why things don't seem to sink in the first time. I also seem to have to do something and quit/leave before realizing how wonderful it was. I want to go back so much now. I miss the people, the atmosphere, the knowledge. I didn't realize it at the time, but I grew so much there. I look at things very differently know. I want that to continue. I miss the people. I miss the guys from my floor. I miss our sister floor. Just the whole atmosphere there. It is weird. Something unlike I have ever experienced before.

The atmosphere is something I am looking forward to at basic. The community. I think it will be different, but fun.

Alanna's getting married on Fri. I still don't know how I feel about it. It just seems strange. Maybe because I don't know Kevin very well? They just don't seem to know what there are doing, where they are going. I am happy for them though. Kevin is a great guy, I am glad he is with Alanna. I just can't believe they are getting married. It seems like just a short time ago we were sitting in Bible study and I had just met her. Hmmm....Well the best to them.