anti-semitic blast to a stripping mom

Jo: That poppy song that I like is by the same woman who does that song “You leave something to be desired,” I think. I could be wrong, but I heard it on the radio this morning and it sounded like the same artist.

I am going to be volunteering for Campus Safewalk at SAIT this year. I think it will be a good way to get out and meet people, and it should be fun. I am just going to be doing it one night a week. They are 3 or 6 hour shifts and I only have to actually be out walking for 1 hour in every 3, which leaves me lots of time to do homework, which I am getting a lot of already.

Two encounters with the homosexual community: Last night on the train home from my parents this gay boy winked at me as I was getting off, and as I was walking past the window he smiled at me. And contrary to what I had previously thought, I didn't run away in horror. I just smiled and thought it was cute (is cute the right word? I don't know, but it shouldn't be taken the wrong way). The other day as I was helping Chris move out of the apartment, Chris ran to catch the elevator as it was closing and bust in on a make-out session. It was these two older guys. It was so funny. I hadn’t quite reached the elevator yet, and as I herd Chris say sorry, I kinda guessed what he had walked in on. The smaller guy kept apologizing.

I was listening to my buddy Jim Rome this morning, reverting to clone, and I found out that Willy from KC was blasted. See Willy from KC is a Class “A” caller. He has been a regular caller for a few years now, and usually has a song. They are parodies that make fun of other clones or callers, or the current sports topics. The callers that respond to him seem to be split 50-50 on him. So anyway, Willy calls in yesterday, and in the course of his call lets an anti-Semitic blast go. It was so stupid. Of course, he was rung, and he is now banned from calling the show for life. I can’t believe he pulled something like that. Why? He was such an awesome caller. He just threw it all out the window because of one dumb blast.

There is this mother in the states, who decided it would be fun to strip at her son’s birthday party. She took her son and his friends to the go-cart track and upon arrival, found that the place was rather busy and they would have to wait (the norm). She didn’t want to disappoint the boys by making them wait in line, so she put them back in the car and drove to a cheap motel. She purchased some beer for the boys, and took them up to a room she rented. On arrival in the room, she gave each of the boys a wad of cash and started stripping. She told the boys to stuff the money into her bra and panties. As the “show” goes on, she gets the boys to spank her… Only in Arkansas.

Mr. Chris has now officially moved out of our place, and tomorrow I will move all of my stuff. 8.5 months in this place and I won’t miss it at all. I will miss the freedom of living on my own, but I keep thinking about all the money that I am going to be saving and it makes it much easier to accept.

Well I am off to work. My first day back at the Salon. The ladies don’t know I am starting yet, so it should be rather amusing.

switch clicker stick

Coolest things ever...

I just got a "switch clicker stick" in my electronics class. It even says it on the tool. It is for switching the switchs on electrical boards. This thing could possibly be the coolest thing ever.

More later...

first day of school

Well I just finished my first day of school. It was actually alright.

Technical Writing will be a fun class. It shouldn't be too hard, and the prof is fun. She has 3 undergrad degrees and a masters.

I am not sure about Math just yet. The prof is a bit of a bitch, but I think she was just being a hardass for the first class to show us that she means business, but I think she will end up being okay. She is willing to help us outside of class, whenever we need it.

Electric Circuit Analysis will be fun. The lab aspect anyway. The prof is really cool. I have him for both the lab and the lecture. I think the theory aspect will be hard, but I will work my butt off and do well. He is this old guy who doesn't like marking things. He only gives out assignments as bonus projects, and asked us not to do them, so he doesn't have to mark them. Though if we do them, he will mark them. He is a cool old guy.

The guys in my class seem like they will be half-decent. Some of them are going to drive me nuts, but I will just ignore them and go on.

I went and suprised Mama Beanfor lunch today. I have 2 hour lunch breaks on Mon. It was nice to see her.

Well, day #2 tomorrow.

It is nice that I don't have to come home and take a shower though. I am enjoying that aspect.

I have moved most of my stuff home, and I will finish moving things this weekend. Then I will officially be moved into my parents.

It's My Birthday

It is my birthday. Yay! Kari and Heather got me the coolest stuff. A purple folder, a purple notebook, a purple duo-tang, and purple pens. Lots of them. Every purple pen that Grand & Toy sells. It was really cute. Thank you ladies.

Written Friday, Aug. 22, 2003 ~~ 5:00p.m.

Okay, so I think I have made some friends. Well I have taken the first steps to making friends. But it is a start. Amit is from India (though he introduced himself as Paul, so I am not sure), Chris has come from India as well, by way of Toronto (there are more than 5 Chris's in my class, all Christophers), Keith, he is from around here I think (he's a little strange), and there was one other guy...oh right. Mike, no, not mike...Mark. Yeah, that's it. He is from way north in Sask. He is living in res and seems pretty cool as well. Most of my class seems pretty cool. A couple of guys that will annoy me but these guys seem alright.

So yeah, these are the people I hung out with today. That, and my Computer Fundamentals prof (will be my C prof next semester) She is crazy! I swear that women is on crack. He always walks like a bizillion miles an hour, she is like 5 foot nothing. This little petite woman whose last name happens to be Diane "Pettite" Exactly. She is lots of fun. She knows everyone in my groups class. There are about 100 first year students in my program and we are broken into groups of just over 30. She knows all the names of everyone in my group, and of the group I listed above, she knows where we are from. That and she gets to work at the Cher concert on Mon. How awesome is that? Though I am going to see Shania, so...

Overall it was a wonderful day. Though I did get Mama Beansicky, so I feel bad about that. It is my birthday tomorrow though. That is very exciting. Mama Beanand I are going to the fireworks thingy.

P.S. Heather always has the coolest guestbook entries.

I talked to Mark today and I will be starting work next Fri. BTW, when I told Amit that I was a receptionist at a hair salon, he has been the first person NOT to laugh at me. He actually thought it was pretty cool, though he has spent the last year since he moved from India working at a Mickey Dees. So I now have a job for Fri evenings and Saturdays. So 12 hours a week. That isn't too bad. Decent hours.

I am thinking about trying out for the Cheer and Stunt squad at SAIT but I am not sure. I haven't worked out in awhile, so I don't know if I would be up to it. I think I may drop by and check out the competition. Maybe next year.

I have decided that I am going to become involved in SAIT stuff this year. I think I am going to do some volunteering. Safewalk, or something like that. They also have this volunteer program where they set you up with companies, and it is kinda like a work practicum if you get something in your field. So I am thinking I might do something like that after Christmas when I know a little more about computers and stuff.

As an aside, these are some of the worst grapes I have ever eaten. (I am eating grapes as a write this)

stuff and . . .

Yay my internet is working for a spell. How long, I haven't a clue.

Orientation is today. I am a little nervous about all the new people. How should I act, what should I wear, try not to look like a geek just because I am doing computers. This is worse than high school.

My birthday is tomorrow. Big 21. Yes, young, I know.

My apartment is in total disarray. Half-filled boxes over here, piles of stuff over there. Things I don't know where to put, though everything has to end up in a box so I may as well just start dumping it in. I am moving most of my stuff on Sun, and the other half next week.

School starts Mon. (See paragraph farther up)

I have enough money from this summer to cover my entire first semester tuition. I didn't think I would. This means I get to keep my student loan for next semester as I have nothing for that semester.

Phil Collins is wonderful.

And VERY exciting... Buddy Wasisname and the other fellers are coming to town. I have to go. I don't know anyone else that understands newfie accents though. Hopefully my dad will want to come. Tickets are only $25.00. Anyone want to come? Guarenteed to be lots of fun, well, if you understand newfie humor, as well as their accent. Anyway, I am excited to say the least.

Tickets for Shania go on sale this morning. I am trying to figure out if I should/can go.

Same Date...10:02 a.m.

I AM GOING TO SHANIA TWAIN!! YIPEE!!

no regrets

During the course of conversations that I have with people, the topic of Mama Beaninevitably comes up, as she is a major part of my life. I will mention the fact that she is going away in Oct for 3.5 years, and that yes, we are staying together.

This is met with varying responses, "You are staying together?" "What if she finds someone else?" "You won't last" "I'm impressed." "I hope everything works out for you."

The best is when people ask if we are going to try and make it work. I don't see how that could be a valid question, especially coming from someone I thought would know better. Why wouldn't we try? We have been together for over 2 years, and are just going to stay together until she leaves and then break things off… Is it just me or does that sound ridiculous? Why would anyone spend 2 years building a relationship, only to end it because of a temporary distance separation? Of course we are going to make it work. Yes, at times it will be difficult, but that is what makes relationships grow stronger.

And in the course of the conversation that surrounds my relationship with Jo, if they were to find out that we have been together for the past 2 years, and being that I met her when I was 18, and am now turning 21, there is always incrediousity (i don't think that is a real word, but I find it works well) with the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. "You are still young, there is so much more out there" "Marrying the first person you fall in love with is not a good idea" "How do you know she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? You are young, think of all the opportunities you are missing, all the girls you won't get together with, and the experiences you will miss."

Granted, there are a lot of other women out there, maybe I am passing up plenty of other opportunities, missing out on different experiences. But why risk losing the person I know I want to spend the rest of my life with for those experiences and opportunities and people? Why give up a life-time of happiness for a few years of happiness and possible years of regret for losing the one woman I want to spend my life with. All the experiences we will have together, the memories we will be able to share. When we are older we will be able to look back on those times that we shared together.

Maybe there is another woman out there for me, one that is even better than Jo. But I doubt it. I am never going to regret not getting to kiss another woman, or be with someone else, or walking down the street with another woman in my arms. I have the lady I want right now. I don't want any other. I am happy, and I have a feeling things will get better as life goes on. I never want to be with another woman. I have everything I want and then some, right here in my Jo. With a girl like her, how could I ever want anything else? She is the most wonderfulest thing ever and I love her dearly.

all done!

Yay! I am all finished work. That is very exciting. I have orientation on Fri, and I start school on Mon. Happy Days!

Edmonton was lots of fun on the weekend. It was awesome to see Jon again. I must thank Mama Beanand Heather for their patience with him. I really appreciate it.

He hasn't changed a bit. Well, if it is possible, he has become more crude, more derogatory, and more racist. But I still love the guy. We started drinking at 3, and didn't stop until 10. Good times.

Elena's play was quite enjoyable. There were a few actors that sucked. But for the most part it was fun. Lots of Britney music, lots of pop parody, and all around great times.

My internet has been down for the past few days. I don't know why. It doesn't seem to want to work. My modem keeps overheating, and then my internet doesn't work. Just access to web pages though. E-mail and MSN still works fine. So does playing games online. It is annoying. So now that I finally get a chance to update, I have forgotten all the things I was going to say.

ready for school

I had a nice day off today. I finished all of my stuff for school, except getting my books. The booklist wasn't out yet, so I will have to do that next Wed. I got my laptop today though. It is so awesome. People in the program I am in receive the best laptops. So it is twice as good as my desktop. Even the screen is almost the same size. Plus it has a burner and DVD player. I am going to have so much fun with it. I was also informed that I will probably have the option to buy it out when I am finished my program, for about $500. That is a pretty awesome deal. I know it will be 2 years from now, and the laptop won't be exactly amazing, but still...

I went and talked to Mark (my old boss from the salon) today, and he said I can come back and work part-time. Probably just Fri nights and Saturdays, but that is awesome. It pays more than most other part-time jobs, and I enjoy doing it, so that is exciting.

My bus driver found a bomb in his car yesterday morning. It blew up part of the front end of his car and one of the front tires. Right here in Calgary. He was this old east Indian guy with a turban. Really friendly. He was telling us (the half dozen of us in the front of the bus) this story on my way home from work yesterday. It was amusing, yet scary. I didn't know there were car bombings here in Calgary.

It is Barbara's 23rd birthday today, and she leaves for school tomorrow. She has colored her hair so it is darker. Kinda auburn with slightly lighter highlights. It looks pretty good. That, and her nose stud, it is quite the difference. Amusing. 23 is such an awkward age. It isn't anything really. There isn't really any significance to it. It is just 23. Maybe because it is a prime number. Barbara and I were talking about it last night. How prime number birthdays seem kinda insignificant/awkward, except in the NWT, where 19 is the legal age, though I don't think anyone follows it anyway.

I am trying to decide whether or not I want to upgrade my account to a gold membership. I am just sitting here, typing this in notepad, with that screen in the background saying the servers are overloaded, and the only thing I can see on the screen is "Why can gold members still add entries?" and part of the reply.

My parents might help me get a gym membership at Gold's gym for the year as part of my birthday present (10 days away<23rd>). I think that would be pretty cool. It is 550 for the year, well for 15 months because they have a special on right now. It would be good for me. I have been losing some size, and that just isn't acceptable. Except my arms, I don't think they have shrunk. It is hard to tell if they have grown since I started painting, or it is just that the rest of me is shrinking (except for my growing middle), and my arms are staying the same. Either way, I am dying to get back to the gym and hitting the weights hardcore.

4 more days....

fun times

My boss is being abnormaly nice to me since his return from vacation. Be it because he had a vacation, the fact that I am leaving, or that he got some, I know not. The fact is, he is nice to me. Friendly. He still doesn't really talk to me, but more so than before. And he has started saying please and thank you. He had plenty of oppuntunity to get pissed off today, but he limited himself to only a few instances where he let loose. I was rather impressed.

Tomorrow I get to spend even more money. I payed all my tuition on Fri, and tomorrow I am buying my books. I am also picking up my laptop and finishing up other misc things.

I am excited about getting my laptop. I have never had one before, so the prospect is rather inticing. I will get to use it in all of my classes, play on it in my breaks, read the news on my way to school. The possibilities are endless. I am going to have to get an external mouse for it though. I hate using those little built in pads or pegs.

Well I am tired, so I should go to bed. I have lots to do tomorrow (but no work).

Only 4 days to go.

Oh yeah, and I am going to Edmonton on the weekend. I will get to see people I haven't seen in a very long time. Exciting!

Paint Shortage

9 days remaining...

And I have run out of paint. My boss was supposed to buy me enough so that I could finish the job. Either he underestimated, or I am using way too much. I am thinking the first. So now I am in a bit of a pickle. Do I attempt to get another gallon or 2 and finish the job. Hoping it is the same color. I mean the paint store should have the formula for the color right? I hope so anyway. I am going to call them in the morning and see what they have to say. I have a phone number that I can reach him at, but I really don't want to phone him. In fact, I am not going to phone him. And I guess, if I can get the paint, I can talk my brother into giving me a ride to go and get the paint. Hopefully he isn't working tomorrow.

I really hope things workout. I had it all planned out so that I wouldn't have to work on Sat. I am still not going to. Whether it means not getting the job done, or working late these next two nights to make up for lost time. I am assuming the latter, because I would really like to get this job finished. Then maybe he will be generous in the amount of money I get as a bonus for this week.

Oh well, I will only have to work with him for 7 days when he gets back. Yay!

free-will question, answer attempt

When we die, we are either sent to Heaven to spend a pleasurable eternity with God, or we are sent to Hell, where we will spend the rest of eternity in torment. So, as this caller(from the bible answer man show) asked yesterday, what is the point of free will? There doesn’t seem to be much of a choice. Eternal pleasure? Or eternal torment? Choose to follow God and receive eternal happiness, or choose to deny Him and once dead, suffer for eternity being tormented.

Torment, according to the crack-pot (from the CRI), is defined as being separated from God. If that is what torment is, then what is the big deal? You chose to deny him in life, why is it going to be such a big deal to continue for eternity being separated from Him? Why is that going to be torment?

So this crack-pot went on to discuss how there really is a choice. We can either choose to spend eternity with God, or spend eternity being tormented in Hell. That is a choice right? He didn’t answer the guy’s question. I don’t think so anyway. I figure there would be a much better way to answer this guy’s question. I have been grappling with this, as to how I would answer it.

I could say that in choosing to deny Him during our lifetime, you are free to live as you wish. To try and do things in your own power, without the assistance of God. You wouldn’t have to follow the guidelines set out by Him. You could live life as you please. Then, when you die, you would be sent to Hell, but you did live life the way you wanted to. Isn’t that enough?

Except that this response would only work if the person that was denying God, didn’t believe in an afterlife, or that he would be going to hell for denying God. Because if one did believe that he would end up in hell when he died, who would choose to deny Him? Only to live a short mortal life doing your own will? Unless of course eternity was beyond this person’s comprehension, and all he cared about was living in-the-now.

These are just some thoughts that are running through me head that I am jotting down. They don’t necessarily make sense, they don’t need to. If anyone cares to respond, I am interested in your ideas.

Effects of Movies

It is amazing the effect movies and music have on our lives. They evoke such a wide range of emotions, each unique to the individual. I just finished watching the Patriot with Mel Gibson, one of my favorite movies. It is a movie that makes me laugh, cry, and angry. I get pissed off because people today don’t stand up for what they believe in. They don’t fight for what they believe in. They can’t. We live in this society where we get trampled on. Yes, we can lobby, or sign petitions, sing songs, yell and scream. They all have the same effect. That is the problem with democracy. No, not with democracy, with the democracy that we have in our country. There is no more standing up and fighting for what we want. Lots of people bad-mouth the Americans. For Vietnam, Iraq (twice), for Korea. Their ideas are a little skewed now, but back in with the American Revolution they had the right idea. They wanted something, so they took it. They got their freedom, at the cost of many lives, but they got what they fought for.
Some people would argue that we have evolved, moved on. We are above fighting and brutality. It is an effective means of getting what we want. I don’t really know where I am going with this. It was like I was saying, movies evoke such emotions from us.
The Patriot was the reason I didn’t go to college right after high school. It is the reason I just went to England. It was the cause of a lot of pain, loss of money, waste of time. Though no, not a waste of time. I learned a lot by going. I went because I felt I should. I didn’t do what everyone else expected me to. I wanted to go to England. To see and experience different things. So I did.
Then I see scenes in the movies of colonial living. Ships in the harbor, the clothes they wore, horses and buggies. There is sort of a romaticness about the whole era. Yeah, there was no women’s rights, and there was slavery, and all the rest of the shit, but it was a much simpler life. Much slower.
Why is our society so impatient? With the invent of microwaves, faster computers, smaller gadgets, our society is on a headlong collision course with a big brick wall. We are eventually going to run out of steam and drop out of the air. Everything is going to come crashing down. What happened to the days of peacefulness? You can’t even escape the hustle and bustle of the city anymore. Everywhere you go people are yapping on their cell phones, Scurrying this way and that. We are a society running around with our heads chopped off. Why can’t we slow down for a little while. Teach everyone the value of patience. Of quietness. Everyone is so money driven. And living in the society, you can’t get away from it. Some days I just wish I was down in the middle of absolute butt-fuck-nowhere, building houses, or evangelizing. Doing something productive.
Life...wtf?
Movies can also make you realize the importance of things. Like family, or freedom, or any number of things. There was a guy on the radio today, a former crime boss from the Columbo family if New York, sorry, not a crime boss, just a captain. But the radio host asked him what he thought about “The Sopranos” The first thing he said was that there would never be any swearing in front of your family. Your mom or dad, or siblings. That just wasn’t done. There is a code, and one of the essentials is respect. Another thigns we don’t have much of in our society. Respect. To many people thinking they have to rebel against society. For instance, with swearing. It seems to have this sort of ‘rebel’ness to it. That I don’t understand. Coming from a tradespersons point-of-view, there isn’t anything irregular about swearing. You just don’t do it in front of women (unless they are tradeswomen) or children, and you don’t talk like that in public. At folkfest, everytime someone would say ‘fuck’ there would be cheering? Why? Is it cool to say the word fuck on stage? Or because it is normally something you shouldn’t do, they are breaking some rule, or rebelling against something that is cool. This being Folk Fest and all. Why make it into something special? It is a word. One that is part of many people’s everyday language, and in certain situations, one that should be used with a little respect. It should illicit a cheer from a crowd just because it is put in a song. It is either just a part of the lyrics, and thus should be given no more special treatment than the rest of the lyrics, or if it is used as a rebellion thingy, then that is just lame.
I think I am done ranting. So on a totally separate note...
I was listening to the radio today, and discovered this wonderful station, AM 1140. It is this Christian radio station with all these interesting programs. It is the kind of station that plays Focus on the Family and other Christian programs, most of which are utter junk (radio plays and the like).
So I was listening to this guy today, from the Christian Research Institute, some company based out of the states that has a branch here in Calgary. And it is a phone is program where you ask him a question and he will answer it for you. Anything Christian or biblical related. The show I was listening to was Bible Answer Man. This guy was so full of shit. He didn’t really answer people’s questions. He kind of slid around them. Gave them these bullshit things that were so full of holes. If I had that dudes knowledge of the Bible and Christianity, I could have done much better. I think I could have just with the knowledge I have now. He was going on at one point about how there are different levels of pleasure in heaven. Depending on how your acted on Earth would reflect on how wonderful heaven would be. Everyone there would experience the glories of heaven, some just more so than others. He used the examples of buckets of water. They are all full, some pails are just bigger than others. WTF?! The same goes for hell. Everyone there will suffer eternal torment, some just more than others. Eg. ‘Hitler’s torment will be far worse than that suffered my your garden variety pagan. This is what the dude said. This guy is so far out to lunch. He kept quoting verses which didn’t even make sense. They didn’t fit with what he was saying at all. I just think he was trying to sound smart in front of the kinda simple callers/listeners. He just really pissed me off, but I am going to have to start listening to him more because I learn things, like how to pull his arguments apart, and how I would have answered the caller.
I was listening to this other program called Back to the Bible. This is a really big program that is broadcast all over the world in over 100 languages and dialects, and has been on the air since the 60’s with TWR. So I figured this guy might have something decent to say. NOPE! He was going on about evangelizing and said that it is our duty to bring the Word of God to people that haven’t heard it. But, if they choose not to accept it, it is out of our hands. We are no longer to blame for their eternal damnation. You did what you could, now it is up to them to save themselves. That is exactly the attitude that is turning people away. Where is the compassion in that? You have to stay. Help them. Coach them along. You can’t just tell someone the story of Jesus, hand them a Bible and say that it is up to them to figure out the rest. If someone rejects it right from that get-go that you just leave it at that. Oh, they said no. Too bad, they are going to hell. It isn’t my problem anymore. I tried. I gave them the message. I did my part. Sucks to be them. They are going to burn in eternal damnation, but it doesn’t affect me any. My hands are clean. C’mon! The same book that says to spread the word of God also preaches compassion, and where is the compassion in that?
The station does make the day go by quicker though. That is a good thing.
Oh yeah, my boss is gone now, well he leaves tomorrow, after dropping my check off. But he said he is going to pay me even more for next weeks work. There is more than he initially thought, so no such luck in getting a day off. It is going to take me the whole week, maybe even Saturday. But he is going to pay me more, maybe $14/hr for the week. Because I am working alone and it is hard on the back and knees. I am crawling around on my hands and knees all day. It is killer on the back, but I figure if I load up on Advil I will be okay.
Well that is enough. There is a lot there and I don’t feel like going back and reading it over to see what I wrote. Posting time.

My boss is going away

My boss is leaving on Fri morning. This means that tomorrow is going to be my last day with him for the next week. Yay! He even said I get Sat off. I think I might go in anyway. We'll see. He gave me a job to do, and all he wants is for me to finish it by the end of next week. So if I finish it before fri, I get to take the remainder of the week off and he will pay me for the entire week. He was hoping that would be enough incentive for me to finish. I would think so. I am going to work my ass off so maybe I can have a day off.

Only 3 more weeks of work. I start school on the 25, and I get to pick up my laptop on the 11. I am getting excited. Hey, that means I only have 1.5 weeks left to work with my boss. Yay!

I am tired. I am going to bed.

what a wonderful weekend

Final Day at Folk Fest:

I saw Kim Barlow's(the picture doesn't do her justice, she is far cuter) little concert, bought her CD, gingerbread, and met her and got an autograph. How cool is that?! The CD is amazing. I am quite enjoying it. She has this song, "Garage Sale" which is quite amusing with a catchy tune. She has this song, "Like a baby" about an anorexic cheerleader, which is a little disturbing.

This one workshop, with Buck 65, Slainte Mhath, and Horace X, was awesome. The music got totally out of hand, and Buck 65 even played Black Sabbath's "Ironman" on his turntables. It was so cool.

Blue Rodeo was awesome. It was nice to hear some stuff that I actually knew before the weekend.

Sarah Harmer was good. Much better than at the Sister's of Song workshop, which I found quite boring.

You could tell that it was the end of the weekend, everyone was subdued, there wasn't as much cheering, and lots of people left early.

On Thurs. evening, I came home and was reminising about the day, and was a little disapointed. It was quite what I expected it to be, and was worried the rest of the weekend would be more of the same. Kinda boring. Boy was I wrong. I just kept getting better. Despite the heat, the bands kept rocking and the people kept cheering and dancing. What a festival.

For my first Folk Fest ever, I must say it was amazing. Thank you so much ladies (Jo, Heather, Kari) for the wonderful weekend, and showing me just how much fun folk fest can be. For putting up with my drunkeness and having fun with the fruit.

"Dairies, Dairies, Dairies." -Heather

The atmosphere was awesome, the people were awesome (except for the masses of scary lesbians on Sat.), and the company was fantastic.

Thank you all.

Later that day (10:15 p.m.)

Okay, here's the breakdown:

Price:

Flight - $411.29 CAD (incl tax) Calgary to Anaheim via Phoenix, next Tues at 7:20 and arriving at 11:07. Returning the next day, similar times (9-1). Through Expedia.ca

Concert Ticket - $78.00 US for the concert ticket. Meatloaf. 8pm. 2nd Tier.

Hotel? I am not sure yet, I am still trying to determine where I am going to stay that night until I have to be at the airport for the following morning. It is only for 8 hours. I could prolly sleep in the airport or something. Not very comfortable, but the price is right.

So should I go? Or no? I really want to. But it is expensive. I know I am going to regret it for the rest of my life, every time a Meatloaf song comes on the radio I am going to kick myself because I didn't go and see him on his final tour. I have to. It is only just over $500. I can just cut corners in other areas of my life, like moving home instead of living in res. Yeah, that is a good idea. *laugh* I have to buy the tickets by tomorrow. Or tonight at midnight, I am not sure which. I just don't know how far it is from the airport to Anaheim Grove. I guess I should figure that out first. (just checked on the distance from teh grove to the airport, 20km, or about 17 min driving time. Taxi? Bus? Shuttle? Let's see...)

Decisions, Decisions...

Folk Fest Day 3

Okay, I saw Ani. And I still don't much care for her. Way to much hype over nothing.

Notes on Ani:

Yes, she knows how to play acoustic, and she does have a pretty voice, except when she does that high, wafty, willowy voice. That is rather annoying, though her facial expressions are cute.

She looks better without dreads.

When she gets into her angry music (the left-wing hippie crap) the music gets bad. Not just lyric-wise, but musically. Her guitar playing goes down the drain and her voice goes bad.

I will agree that she does have some intelligent things to say, not a lot, but some. She says certain things that are good, ie I agree with them, but her fan base takes it to the extreme, thus eliminating the point of the message.

Notes on Folk Fest Day 3:

Kris Demeanor is awesome. I quite enjoyed him when he did this workshop with Kim Barlow, and this other woman. They really clicked on the stage when they were jamming together, and I have a feeling that is what the workshops are supposed to be like.

I saw Sarah Harmer. Yay! I quite like her, but the workshop she did, with the Waifs, whom I also enjoyed, and this whiny, annoying thing from Iowa, was rather boring. They just took turns playing songs. There was no real interaction, which really took away from the whole thing.

Al Stewart was lame. I was so disapointed. I was really looking forward to him and "Year of the Cat." But it was just him on the stage, solo, with an acoustic. Lame.

So now I have seen Elvis Costello and Sarah Harmer, Ani, and Danu. Yes, I fell asleep during them, but they were still cool. Tomorrow I will see Blue Rodeo, Ian Tyson, and hopefully lots of other good acts.

Okay, I can't believe that Heather doesn't like Robin Black. Well, actually I can. It is very much 80's rock. Kinda Poison/G&R/other cool bands. And since most people, at least those I associate with, don't much care for 80's music, of any kind. So I forgive them. Heather and I have called a truce, because we can still talk about sports, mainly baseball. Which is cool, because before I started listening to Jim Rome, (I will get to that in another entry, because it will take me awhile.) I would never have had any clue about what she was talking about, but know I actually know things. I can carry on a conversation with her regarding the Jays, and MLB. I am impressed.

I am tired, and am going to bed. I have another fun-filled day ahead of me, so I will be off.

I am sorry...

I am such an ass. I am sorry to all those I affected. I behaved like a total twit and should never have acted that way. I am sorry. I had too much to drink, I know that. My apologizes. I am sitting here, feeling like a total ass, because that is how I acted. I know that, and I am still drunk. Yes, one pitcher of cider. That is all it took. I guess I overestimated my tolerance level.

I know I fucked up. I apologize for it.

Folk Fest tonight was really awesome. Danial Lanois was amazing. I was really impressed. Yes, I was drunk when I heard him, but I am still impressed. I was not, however, drunk for any of the other acts. The Bill Hilly band was really awesome. I really enjoyed their show. I enjoyed most of the acts tonight.

Once again, I am really sorry.

Politeness

What happened to manners? To politeness? I mean, is it to much for someone to say please and thank you? Or excuse me please instead of move? Or stay on the ladder, instead of "Get on the fucking ladder!"

Yes, once again I had to deal with my boss and his temper tantrums. I think of all the people I know, his politness is almost non-existent, even when he is in a decent mood. the only time I have ever heard him say sorry, was to a cocoon that he had to pull out of the soffits because we were painting. Never any other time. When he asks for things there is never any please or thank you, (actually I think he has said please once) it is always an order. I know the guy doesn't particularly like me and everything, but give me some credit. I don't enjoy coming to work and getting shit and abuse all day. Well not all day, but whenever it happens, it makes it seem like all day.

I just wish people in general would be more polite. Hold doors for each other, say hi, help people when they need it, stop and check if someone is okay if they trip and fall. Politeness was drilled into my brain from the moment I could move. I know I am not alway the politest person in the world, but I generally make a point to try.

I know I am just whining, but I had a shitty morning and needed to get it out. My boss was pissy, I forgot my lunch, and instead of it being overly hot, it was cold. WTF?!

I get to go to Folk Fest soon. I am very excited. It was lots of fun last night. I only knew two of Elvis' songs, but he was amazing. So were the other guys we saw, except this little dude from Norway. He kinda sucked.

I Won!

Fun and exciting news: I won a one year membership to a gun club and rifle range. Yay! That is so sweet. It took a little while to sink in, so I wasn't really excited when I first found out. But now I am elated. This is so cool. I never win things. Now I have to goa dn write my Restricted Firearms Safety Test, so that I can buy my dad's 9mm, and start practicing and maybe competing. YAY! I am so excited.

Folk Fest is today. Another big YAY! Elvis Costello is playing tonight. I am so excited. I think it may rain, but whatever. I had a good day. It was like 20 degrees all day, so I didn't roast my butt off, and my boss was in a decent mood. And, I found out that he, my boss, is going on vacation on Aug 2. How sweet is that? I will get to work by myself for the whole week. Set my own hours and whatnot. Actually take coffee breaks. It will be a little boring though. Working all by myself, and I will just be painting baseboards all day, so that is going to suck. And it is all indoors, where the air is stuffy and dry, thus killing my contacts. This is starting to sound not-so-great afterall, but there is no Lawrence (boss) so everything will be just peachy. So once again, YAY!

Today's entry has been brought to you by the letters, Y and A, and the punctuation mark, !.

Shocking

I picked up a copy of the recent FFWD, and as I was skimming through, I noticed a review for Shaolin Soccer. Much to my surprise, it was praising it. I thought it just looked like another Big Green, or Mighty Ducks, but apparently it was done by this big comedic guy in China, and is quite good. I was not expecting a review praising this movie, especially in FFWD, it was kinda cool.

Mama Bean and I have been together 25 months tomorrow. Yay!

Randomness

We went strawberry picking yesterday. It was lots of fun. Then we came home and made jam. I haven't tried any yet, but I am hoping it is good.

There was a guy sitting aross the aisle from me on the train today, with 14 earings in his left ear, increasing in guage as they went down. Both his lobes were stretched with 1 1/2" dia. circles. It was kinda gross. He was also wearing sandles with his toenails painted this puke yellowish-green. He was a pretty ugly guy too. Oh, and he was wearing short shorts with a band tattoo around his upper thigh. Strange people.

I went to the foot doctor today, he says I shouldn't start my running program again until Sept. Sad...

Only 5 more weeks of work left. I am quite looking forward to the end of that, and the beginning of school.

Folk Fest is on the weekend. I am getting veryt excited. I have never been before, so this will be totally new for me. And I can't wait to try this amazing cider that I have been looking forward to for about 4 months now.

I think that is it. Maybe more later.

VD and Pregnancy...hey, it rhymes.

Okay, so I have been thinking, is it the guys responsibility, or the girls, to carry protection if they are going to sleep around? This thought has been plagueing my thoughts the past few days. Ever since I was sitting in the bar and this girl's purse spilt and among the contents of her purse were a number of condoms. This kinda caught me off guard. Namely because I don't hang around with a lot of people that do that sort of thing. Have one-night flings or what-not. I know that both men and women carried protection, but I hadn't consiously thought about it. So now it has me thinking.

I thought we were in an age of sensitive guys. We ushered out the age where machisimo, tough guys, was the standard, and brought about the time of sensitive, caring guys. So in this age, should it not be up to the guy to carry protection? Sure if the girl is on the pill or deppo or what-ever, but that is different. It shouldn't just be up to the girl to protect herself. The guy should want to protect himself, as well as his potential partner. But, maybe that is only if sex means something. When it is beyond just a carnal act of self-gratification. Maybe it is just old fashioned thinking on my part, that the guy should look out for the women. I mean, doesn't this fall somewhere under the laws of chivalry. It is probably right after throwing your jacket over a puddle so the lady can walk over it as opposed to around it. So, being after this rather well-known rule, it falls in the shadow of the afore mentioned rule. As I am not a part of this culture, I may be missing something and may sound like I am out in left field somewhere, but I just don't understand it.

Women shouldn't have to carry condems. It should be the responsibility of those it clothes. Yes it serves as protection to both, but c'mon guys, show a little decency and carry your own condoms. Birth control and STD protection shouldn't be left up to the lady.

To quote a sports journalist that I don't really much care for "these are my thoughts, not yours..."

I'm out.

Lip Piercings

Alright, so what is the deal with all the lip piercings? Is everyone and their dog getting it done? It was kinda cool when a few people had it done, but now I can't go anywhere without seeing someone with it done. And it looks really bad on some people. Especially if they have full lips, and it is in the center. It makes them look as though their lip is swollen.

See the great thing about having my tongue pierced, is that there aren't alot of people, especially guys that have it done, and it is hidden. Most people can't tell I have one. So I don't really understand this whole "hop on the bandwagon" and get pierced like everyone else. I am just no for not being cool.

And congrats to Heather on her new job.

I got a raise!

Yay!

Speeding up at work, and busting my ass most of the time is starting to pay off. Literally. I received a $1.50/hr raise today, bumping me up to $12/hr.

I guess this means I am going to have to continue to work hard. I think I can manage.

Hunting for Bambi

For all the adventure seekers out there that are ready to take it to the next level. A new "sport" has arrived. Bambi Hunting. No, there is no deer involved, nor real guns.

It involves paintball guns, liquored up, masochistic guys, that travel from as far away as Germany, and naked women, who are most likely tricked on on Crystal Meth. The point of this "sport?" To shoot naked women with paintball guns. I can't think of anything more degrading to women. These guys pay 5 to 10 grand to partake in this oh so fun activity. There are various ranches in Nevada that are hosting events such as these. I mean, WTF!? Are these girls that just don't cut it in the strip club? Or can't make ends meet working the street? C'mon on, in the grand scheme of things these girls make prostitutes look like brain surgeons. For their efforts, the girls receive $2500 if they don't get shot, and $1000 if they do get hit. This is in an effort to keep it as "natural as possible", says one of the ranch owners. What is this world coming to? For more info see Hunting For Bambi.

Familiar Strangers

You know those people that you see everyday, i.e. on the bus or train or walking down the street. Those "familiar strangers," I believe the term is. I have this urge to say hi to them. Nothing more. Just a casual good morning. I see them everyday, it is almost as if I know them. To me, the next thing to do is to say hi to them. You don't have to take it any farther than that. But I am told this is because of my "small town mentality." Growing up in a smaller community, this is just what happens. You say hi to people. A friendly greeting. But apparently this violates some sort of rule. Takes the relationship places it doesn't need to go. I don't really understand this. Well, I kinda do, but I still have the urge to say hi to them. And maybe I will. Just to break this cycle. Make some people uncomfortable. Maybe they will see the err in their ways or maybe it will brighten someones day. That would be nice. I like brightening people's days.

On a side note, not for those with a weak stomach, some Malaysian dude, over the weekend, who was high on hallucinangenics, cut off his penis, fried it, and ate it. He didn't realize what he had done until later, when he noticed all the blood flowing from his groin area. Sad...

And in sports news, Dion Sanders, NFLer, and half-decent, major league baseball player, is being sued by a mechanic that did work on one of his vehicles. Apparently Dion had a $4500 bill, that he only paid $1500 of. Dion claims that Jesus told him he only had to pay this much and that he wanted the "Praise Jesus" discount. Will wonders never cease... He is a professional athlete, it isn't like he is short on cash.

Mama Bean is back

Yay! My Mama Bean is back. The missing her is over. Life can now resume as normal. It was wonderful to see her again. A week is a long time to be apart.

Just wait until it is 2 months...but we won't think about that right now.

I think it is time to go camping soon. I want to go camping. That would be fun.

Cheap Trick Kicks Ass

Cheap Trick...

I knew I loved 80's rock for a reason.

Drum solo...

Enter a 12-string bass...

A guitar that is actually 5 guitars (i have seen those with 2, but never 5)...

Then, from nowhere comes the screaming of a orange, see-through, electric...

Yes. That is the way rock is supposed to happen.

It was awesome. They were everything I was hoping for and then some.

Unfortunatly, the bar we went to after, not so good. No strongbow, no big rock... How sad is that. then the "bar-wench" proceeded to make fun of me saying that I was only 19 and should be drinking Canadian of Kokanee. What is this world coming to...

Yay! I get to see Mama Bean tomorrow. I miss her so very much. Well I don't actually get to see her tomorrow, but she will be back in town and I will get to talk to her. 'S good, because I miss her.

Ego Boost

Well, the rain did ruin our paint job. Sad... We sprayed the whole house. All of it, and it was all ruined. Since the paint was water-based, and it wasn't dry yet, the water mixed with the paint, diluted it and ran down the house. My boss, amazingly enough was in a good mood as well. Jordan called in sick, because he hurt himself working out, again. So it was just Lawrence and I. I am hoping Lawrence noticed that I work harder when he is in a good mood. I was hauling ass today. Moving shit, running around, setting things up. Sanding, scraping, etc... We should hopefully finish up most everything tomorrow, and then just have to go back for a 1/2 day to finish. That will be nice. Then we get to move onto another job. I am not sure if I get Fri off yet, but I will find out tomorrow.

I got the biggest ego boost today. I went to the salon to visit and pick up my pay stubs, and they have hired a new girl. Dannia, or something like that. Karyn was really happy to see me, she came over and gave me a hug. *smile* I felt special. Then she did my eyebrows for free. Yay! When she took me into her room, the first thing out of her mouth was, "She is dumber than a stick." It was so funny. Apparently she has been there for a couple of weeks now, and is just totally useless. She can't work on Saturdays, one of the busiest days, and is just all around dumb. Mark said that just because he hired someone awesome (me), they aren't used to this girl and they have to give her a chance, as they are not doing that now. Or so says Mark. *big smile* I thought it was great. As I was standing there I could feel my head swelling.

I don't think things are going to work out for the army for this summer. I still am not able to run. I haven't been to physio for the past month, but the podiatrist said to only go for another week or two after I saw him and I went for 3 before switching jobs forced me to stop. I think I will start going again, but I have to talk to Lawrence. As I don't have a car, it makes it difficult to get around because we aren't on a c-train or main bus route. So as I still can't run, I don't know if I will be able to join in the fall. I have been biking more, but I don't think that will cut it. Maybe in January... This isn't helping my plan any. I have this perfectly worked out plan, and this is screwing it up. I will just have to make some minor adjustments and see what I can do. I was kinda counting on receiving the $2000/yr from the military to help with my school, and as a decent paying p/t job. Though I don't even know if they will let me join now that I have this problem with my foot. The fact that I need to wear orthotics will be a hamper to my combat ability. Hmm... I think I will call my case office and talk to her.

Now, I am going for a bike ride, I hope it doesn't rain.

Later...

I just finished biking 30 km. For someone that only bikes maybe once a week, that is rather impressive. I went from downtown, and followed the bow river pathway all the way down to fish creek park. That is a long friggin way. I am so tired. When I stopped to cross a street near the end, I was to tired to unclip my pedal in time and fell over. Right there on the street. I came to a stop, a fell over. How sad is that. Now my forarm and elbow is swelling. I should ice it. I am really tired. I am going to go have a shower and eat something. I can't believe I just did that. BTW, I took the train back, I didn't bike back. Sorry.

Stupid Weather

We just spent all day working our asses off, getting yelled at, and it is possibly all ruined.

It was a lovely day today. Lots of sun, no clouds, none of the predicted rain. Till now. We finished at 4, and it is now five. And it the hail is coming down like you wouldn't believe. Huge ones. Like 3 cm across. Not even a nice little sprinkle. The house could have handled that, but I don't think this will go over very well. It is a latex paint. There was not even any rain to precede the hail. Just rain. Now it is pouring. Lots of lightening. The right bright stuff with really loud thunder. I haven't seen or heard anyhting like this in a long time.

And Lawrence was already in a really pissy mood today. He kept yelling at Jordan and I, cursing and swearing. Yelling at the ladders. Yelling at us b/c of the ladders. Yelling at the radio b/c the reception sucked. Then he proceeded to pick up and throw the radio. Lots of fun. I can just imagine what he will be like tomorrow. *sigh* Maybe, by some stroke of luck, the paint is fine. Maybe it has all dried and is going to be okay. That is all I can hope for.

Well I have decided to sacrifice freedom to keep myself from further debt. See yesterday. Well, not all debt, but a substantially less amount. It is going to be really tough, but I am sure I will be able to handle it.

It is still coming down pretty staedy, but it is no longer a torential downpour. I really hope it didn't wreck our days work.

I was going to go and see Eve 6 tonight. They are playing at the coke stage, but not till 8:30. Hopefully it will have cleared up by then. This doesn't look to be a very long storm. Just short and powerful. I can already hear the lightening and thunder moving away. I am also going to see Cheap Trick on Fri, and spend the afternoon at the stampede with Mama Bean on Sun., and see Treblecharger. That will be cool. They had lots of awesome bands this year. Not just at the stampede but at this other thing they have at the Telus convention center. doug and the slugs, chilliwack, trooper, april wine. It is really impressive. It is too bad I am too poor to go. Oh well, another time.

I really hope this weather picks up. Why couldn't we have another drought year, at least until I am done painting.

Oh, and a big RIP to the man, Barry White, who kicked the bucket on the weekend.

Later that evening...9:30pm

Well I didn't make it to Eve 6 sad... Oh well, I still get to see Cheap Trick on Fri, and Treblecharger on Sun. That will have to do. I will survive.

It did stop raining though. That is a good thing. I guess I will find out tomorrow morning how things are going to work out. We were possibly going to have Fri. off because Lawrence always goes to the rodeo, but I dunno. Stupid Weather!

Why can't things just fall into place for a change?

Okay, so the gov't decided, in their infinite wisdom to cut my student funding from previous levels of $7500/yr to $1650/sem. They say it is because they expect my parents to contribute over $5000, and that I am expected to live at home. I don't get that. I am slowly working on my parents to convince them to give me some money for school, and I think they are going to crack, but live at home? I think not. I can't go from living on my own to living at home again. Life just doesn't work that way. I can't do that. Complete freedom to my parents control. Not even that much control but still. There are so many more thigns that I can do living on my own. I wouldn't feel guilty about coming home at all hours of the night. Grr.... Why must things be so difficult. I would save SO MUCH money by living at home though. I could even live at home for the first year, save the money I would have spent on rent because my mom said that they wouldn't charge me rent if I lived at home and was going to school. I would save $2500 in rent alone, never mind phone and whatnot. But if I live at home I could get cheap internet, my own phone line and stuff.... WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? Can't life just be simple for a little while? Can't things just fall into place and work out for me?

Living at home I would also make being able to go and visit Mama Bean a whole lot cheaper. It would make life easier to get a job, because there are a lot more farther south. And it would save me so much money. *sigh* And I don't have Mama Bean around to talk to.

No rent. A little bit for food. A low phone bill. No roomates, just a family. A brother and parents with a car. Just think of all the money I could save. Just think... Just think of the freedom I would have to give up. Is sacrificing freedom to save money worth it? Maybe not in the short-term, but long-term?

*sigh* What to do...

2 days is like an eternity

2 days without talking to my girl. No communication whatsoever. *sigh* That is a long time. And I don't get to see her for 5 days. I haven't done that in a very long time. S'ok though, I will survive. I get to talk to her on Mon. *smile* I can wait that long.

Such a long time...

Olympics in Canada

Mmmm...the joys of getting to put in a fresh set of contacts. So wonderful. Yay for Vancouver and their olympic bid. Yay that Toronto won't get it.

Happy Thoughts

Climbing on the counter next to the sink to wach my feet after coming in from playing outside.

Building sandcastles on the beach with a moat that ran down to the water. Or digging a hole on the beach deep enough to reach the water.

Watching Sesame Street with that bald black guy, I can't remember his name, but he was pretty cool. Gordon, that was his name. I enjoyed him.

Playing one of the 3 wise men in the Christmas Pageant. Back when I was in grade 1 or 2. It was fun.

Picking potatoes in the backyard of some peoples house that we knew from church and digging up them and playing with the dirt.

Going g.t.ing in grade 12 on Christmas day with the boys. Flying down that hill, in the gravel pit. Piling all of us on the tobbogan and trying to make it down the hill without spilling.

The innocence of childhood.

"You took the words right out of my mouth. It must have been while you were kissing me. And I swear its true, I was just about to say 'I love you.'" -Meatloaf

Listening to 80's music. Sappy love songs. Air Supply, Meatloaf, CCR, Springsteen, etc...

Having the leading roles in plays in school.

Going to the shooting range and getting 8 of 10 shots in the black with 2 bulls eyes.

Swimming in the ocean in Australia. Playing in the waves while the currents push me around.

Long, hot bubble baths in a jacuzzi tub.

Happy thoughts. Sometimes they can really help.

acts of kindness are wonderful

Yay! 2 years with my Jo.

I was so impressed. Yesterday, there was a guy running to catch the train, and a guy had gotten off and was walking away, quickly ran back to stop the door from closing and held it until the running guy got there. I never see that happen very often. More often than not ppl just watch the doors close and the person run up to it and is not able to get on. So sad. Acts of kindness are wonderful.

My boss is a bit of an idiot. I don't know what it is about being a summer student, but almost every summer job I have had, the boss talks to me/us as if we are two. I don't mind explanations, even if they are about the stupidest things, or stuff I already know, but don't talk to me like I am 2. He also gets pissed off at us if we are doing something wrong, or rather "inefficient," though he hasn't taught us otherwith. Then he gets all passive-aggressive for the next couple of hours. It is rather annoying. Today I was trying to raise my 32' ladder. It is the kind where you pull the rope and the top part goes up along the wheels. My hand slipped while I was pulling the rope up and the ladder slipped and fell, collapsing in on itself, knocking me down, and making lots of noise. My boss watches this all happen, then comes over all pissed off, and proceeds to tell me how to do it properly and whatnot. I was thinking "Fuck off, I know what I am doing. My hand just slipped." Fucking guy. I ended up scraping a knuckle and I have a bump on the top of my head. I think he was worried that I would get hurt and get worker's comp. or something or take time off. 'Cause you know "Time is money." Stupid.

I was invited to Rob Penner's stag party tonight. Yay, I am popular. Well not really, but it made me feel special that I was invited. But I don't have anyway of getting there. My parents are at a meeting so I can't even scam a ride off of them, and my Mama Bean is busy. Sad. Oh well, hopefully they won't think that I don't like them and never invite me to anything again.

I got this really cute little cat statuette of a cat from Jo. It is really cute, yet kinda creepy because it has no eyes, just empty black sockets. He is really cool though. I quite like him.

Poor Sicky Me

I feel like total shit right now. I think I must have the absolute worst immune system. It is the middle of the friggin summer and I have a cold. What gives?

I also burned my arms and back of my neck quite bad today, I am sure that didn't help matters.

When I started this just, I told myself, "No sick days." Cause sometimes I take them even if I am not too terribly sick. Just cause the break is nice and the rest does get rid of that little bit that is wrong with me. But right now I am really sick. I feel so awful.

I love the dry, bitterness of xtra strength Neo-citron. It is so wonderful.

I can't sleep though. I am coughing too much. I bought this neo-citron, but I forgot to buy some cough syrup, oh but for a tablespoon of buckleys right now.

I am going to finish this lovely drink and try to sleep. Call my boss in the morning, feel bad about it, and sleep some more. Buy some cough syrup, and then sleep somemore. Sound like a good deal? It does to me. 'Cept the feeling bad part. I hate calling in sick. Even though I am really sick...sad. It is like the boy who cried wolf, kinda, cept twisted and backwards kinda like.

Well I am all done my drink and I am getting sleepy. My coughing is kinda subsiding so I guess we will see how my night goes...

I am so sore. I spent 8 hours today on my hands and knees dapping (caulking) base boards. By the end of the day my back was beginning to give out and my legs were like jelly. It sucked. But the thought never once crossed my mind that I should quit. I am quite impressed with myself.

Hopefully it doesn't rain or else I will have to do it again tomorrow. We are only half finished. Then we have to go back and paint all the baseboards. If it doesn't rain, we will get to finish the job we started on Tues. Painting. Outside. The funner stuff. I am looking forward to it.

There are only 3 guys on our crew. Me, my boss, and this guy Jordan. Jordan just finished his first year at U of C in business. He is on the U of C football team. He is one of those kids that did awesome in High school, was the star of the football team etc... His dad is a lawyer/part-time judge, his mom a councilor. His older sister is in Law school. At the end of grade 11 he got a brand new mustang. He is a pretty cool guy though. I think this is the first job he has actually had. He has always been too busy playing football. He is fun to work with though.

My boss, Lawrence, has a weird sense of humor. He says things, and we aren’t sure if he is joking or serious. It is a little disconcerting.

I missed Jo’s convocation today’ That sucks. I feel bad. What kind of a boyfriend doesn’t go to his girlfriend’s university convocation? I will try to make it up to her. I just feel really bad about it.

I have written a letter to adidas telling them about my tendonitis and how it was caused by their shoes. I don’t think they will do anything, but just in case’

My ass is really sore, as is my back and my legs and the rest of my body, so I am going to go and lie down and recuperate.

P.S. I hate having to sit here and wait to be able to post this thing. It is rather annoying.

In only 107 moves

Yay! I just beat Spider Solitaire with 2 suits in 107 moves. That is pretty close to my one suit score.

The Proud Owner of a Library Card

I am now the proud owner of a Calgary Public Library Card. Useable at over 15 public libraries city wide. It allows me to borrow books (over 2,000,000), music CDs, CD-ROMs, videos, books on tape, and back issues of magazines. And, after the first 60 days, I am able to take out unlimited items. I could literally go into the store with a shopping cart and go around picking stuff up, and as long as I return it by the due date, I am fine.

So for a piddly $10 fee, for the next year, I am able to go down to any of the public libraries, and get any book I want. I can take out 100's of dollars worth of books, all because I have, in my possession. *big smile* Think of the adventures I can have. The fun and excitment that I will enjoy over the next year.

And now, for my convenience, they offer e-mail notification when my books are due, when my book I placed on hold, which I can do online, is in, or search the library catalogue from the comfort of my own home.

Yay!

I really want to go and see Meatloaf this summer. It is his final world tour. Then he is going to stop making music and concentrate on acting, unfortunatly. I love the guy and his music, but his acting leaves something to be desired. He is only playing in the states, which either means a 2 day bus ride either way, or coughing up the cash to fly. Just bus alone is $200 plus the price of the concert and the days I miss work. But I really want to go! It is his last tour EVER. But I already don't have enough money to go to school in the fall, so I can't really afford this...but I want to go SO BAD. What to do, what to do...

Time to go and get Jo.

a prolix, tedious bit of crap

I just finished watching Bruce Almighty. It was quite good. It was a really shitty copy that someone filmed on a hand recorder in a theater, but it was fun. There are lots of little semi-hidden messages. I like Jim Carrey though, so I am a little biased.

I got to go for lunch with my Mama Bean today. That was really nice. I won't be able to do that anymore...I start my new job next week. I am getting a little nervous about it, but I am excited.

As I was perusing different scholarships on the net today, I noticed that there are a lot of essay ones. I think I am going to have to try my hand at writing a few of them. See if I can get any money for school. There is this one on Thomas Wolfe. I think he is one of those romantics from way back when, so I decided to get a book of his (using my wonderful library card of course). Even if I don't do the essay, I figure it would be good to familiarize myself with some of his writings as he is supposed to be such an amazing guy. (I think we studied something by him in grade 12)

Why can't things just hurry up? Like life. I know years from now I will wish that things had gone slower and there are so many things I missed out on. But right now, I just want time to go by. I want to be in school already, not having to work for another 3 months. I want to be done school and have Mama Bean back home so I can marry her (Shhhh...). I just want life to get somewhere so that I can settle down and live. I hate all this hoping around, school to school. Job to job. Besides the drain on monetary funds, it is stressful. Despite what many people think, I don't actually enjoy it. I would much rather be going into my fourth year of something. Be one year away from getting my degree. In what? Who knows, something I enjoy preferably. But then what do I enjoy? One semester it is personal training, the next it is industrial mechanics, followed shortly after by Bible College and then computers. WTF!?!?! Why can't I just decide? Why can't I just do something? Stick with something. Like I have stuck with Jo. Almost 2 years and never a thought about quitting. Why can't I do that with the rest of my life? ARGH!!!

One day. One day things will come together and everything will be fine and dandy.

Yeah right.

Wednesday, Jun. 04, 2003~~9:28 p.m.

I just downloaded the new OLP album, I kinda like it. It is pretty decent. I love high speed internet. It is too bad I used such a good word in my title for such a crappy entry...

I have to get up and go to physio for 7:45 tomorrow morning. I don't think I have been up that early in a very long time. My calf is still sore from the massage she gave me last week.

maybe I should go to bed soon...

The annoying guy on the train. . . Me

love being the guy on the train with the loud music. The guy that is sitting there, music blaring, oblivious to all but his music. Yeah, that was me tonight. Totally by accident. I was moving stuff around in my bag when I bumped the volume knob. 'Twas alright though, it was good ol' Meatloaf music. So I didn't mind. When I looked up from straightening my stuff, I noticed ppl kept looking over at me, giving me the look. It was then that I realized I was that guy. The one that annoys everyone. I just smiled, closed my eyes, and leaned back. Letting them enjoy the wondrous music that was Bat out of Hell. *laugh* I am going to have to do it more often.

I have that song, Dream Police - Cheap Trick stuck in my head right now. I love it. The chorus is just going round and round in my mind.

I love being paid 3 times in one month. It makes life so much more wonderful, and so much easier to save money for school. Though it seems as though the moment I put some money away, some essential item will become needed, dentist, orthotics, groceries. I hope to one day, be the kind of person that Topher and I were talking about. About being able to complain about the price of luxuries, as opposed to the price of groceries, or transportation, or basic medical care. I don't want to have to worry that the price of bananas have gone up 10 cents/lb. Or that chicken is only 10.39/kg as opposed to last week when it was 9.50/kg.

Though why I complain about the price of produce, when I can get a cucumber and a head of lettuce for less than the price of a SuperValue meal at McDonalds, and get far more meals out of the deal. Something is wrong there.

Time for bed, tomorrow I tell the ladies that this is my final week that I will be gracing them with my presence. *sigh* Here goes nothing...

80's Music Compilation

I have started working on my CD's. It is going to be a 2 CD (possibly 3) set of all my favorite 80's music. I am quite enjoying it. I am torn on whether to just stick with pop, or should I include rock as well. Though I think I could do a whole other CD or 2, on 80's rock. So maybe I will just do pop for now.

It is fun, I am getting all these old songs that I haven't listened to since elementary and junior high.

I know most people, specially those under 30, have no respect for 80's pop, but that is alright. I forgive them. *smile*

I think it is time for bed now. I had 2 previous entries almost finished but lost them...sad...

I got a new job!

Yay! I got a new job. And I quit my old job. *smile*

I got that painting job. The one from my last entry. I start on June 9.

Yay!

Tough Choice...

~Yay! I got into see the podiatrist. That is awesome. I was supposed to wait another 2 weeks, but there was a cancellation and I got in. Yay!

~t.a.T.u.'s english album sucks. I enjoy the russian one, but it loses alot coming to english. It's too bad. Oh well.

~I have to quit my job today... Another guy called me and offered me a job last night. *sigh* I only sent out 5 resumes, and already 2 have called me. It is another painting job. Pays $10-15/hr. I don't need a vehicle. I have to call him today and ask if he can wait for a week and a half in order to be fair to Mark. I will tell Mark today that I quit, but if this guy calls me back tonight and says he won't wait I will have to go into work tomorrow and tell Mark I don't quit. So I really hope this guy doesn't mind waiting. It seems like a great job though. I just really don't want to leave this one. It is the first time I have ever had a job where people really appreciate me. Where they need me. They are going to be really mad. Everyone. They all love me. Mark is going to be all passive-aggressive until I leave, making my life miserable. *sigh* This is going to suck. I really hope things work out. *sigh* What to do, what to do...

Job Interview Already

2 entries in less than 12 hours, I am on a roll. *laugh*

Well I managed to get myself an interview. *smile* Though it is one of those come out with us and lets see how well you do types. I hate those kinds. That means I have to actually know/remember something, and there is the pressure, always the pressure.....ARGH!

I have it on Wed. My day off. Then he is talking about me starting the week after. What to do about this job? The hair salon one. I will tell him today what is going and and we can go from there. I don't want to quit, just work Sat. maybe?

I will need to buy a car though. That is the bad thing. 's okay though. I will talk to my dad about that. He wants to buy a truck, maybe I can buy something with him. We'll see.

I am just excited. I only sent out 5 resumes so far.

Till another time...

Christian Youth

Sitting at Tim Horton's across from Center Street Church tonight, Mama Bean and I noticed how church people are so very indentifiable. I am not sure whether it is because they just got out of a service and they exuded this "christianness" or what. Though it is quite often noticeable, especially with Youth group kids. They have this innocent sort of rebeliousness to them. Mama Bean was telling about how it was like that when she went to youth. They act and dress differently (oh, another point for me for using my adverb correctly). There was this one kid there, with an iron cross for his belt buckle, yet he had neon green suspenders. The way they walk, act, talk, dress. So foreign to me. Since I have never gone to a youth group, have didn't know this. I just knew that my religion-dar would go off.

It was neat, sitting in this Tim's while it slowly filled up with church people. The buzz in the air was so comforting. They seemed to give off this aura. It was like being home. The same vibes I got at CBC. It made me miss it, yet happy that I was surrounded by it. 'Twas a really strange, yet nice, feeling.

Inventor of the Snooze Button: Brilliant

One of the most wonderful feelings in the world: hitting the snooze button to get 9 more minutes of Zzzzz's. So wonderful

One of the most NOT wonderful feelings in the world: just falling back asleep after hitting the snooze button, relishing those 9 minutes of Zzzzz's, when the phone rings, and when answered there is no one there...Grrrrrr.

American Idol Trash

I can't believe that big, fat, black dude just won. Sad. I can't believe I just wrote that in here. Such utter trash. Not the kind of material that should be gracing a page such as this. *laugh* Oh well.

Reuban (sp?) had the look, but Clay had the voice, and that is what I was counting on. It sure was close though.

Enough trash for one night...

My New Meatloaf CD

My CD is finally here! Yay! The much anticipated, long awaited arrival of Meatloaf's new album. It hasn't even been released in North America yet. It is so awesome! I am constantly listening to it. I can't believe how awesome it is.

It came in last night, and I had to pay an additional $8 because of the retards at customs, but that is all behind me now. This CD totally makes up for it. I even got a bonus CD with videos because it is this special limited edition one that is only available in England.

Yay!

It just makes me want to go and see him even more. Oh well... It is really great, in case I haven't mentioned that yet.

Last couple of days: thoughts and stuff

Well it pains me to say this, even more so to immoratalize these words...I kinda like Coldplay. *cringe* Yeah...Chris had is playing last night, and I was just sitting there, listening to it, and I realized it is actually quite beautiful music. His voice isn't as whiny as I had once thought. It is quite medolious. So, just for the record, I think they are alright. No need to rub it in my face, or anything like that. We will just leave it here. *smile*

I was reading an article on the way home today on the train re: the munchies and why, psychologically, they occur. The article started off alright. Fairly technical, but decent. Though it continues on and becomes an article promoting the positive aspects of pot, the medicinal purposes and whatnot. I didn't quite understand how it deviated so much...it was kinda disapointing.

We got to see Miss Sam today. That was really nice. She was tired, she had done a lot of driving as of late, with minimal sleep, so she wasn't really herself. That was kinda sad, but now that she lives close I will get to see her alot more, and she is even going to come to church with us. Yay!

Chris was telling me about this stuff he learned in his communication class on listening. He asked me if I was a pseudo-accomadator. It was funny, putting labels to things. I have never really understood some peoples obsession with labeling absolutly everything but anyway... Yeah, so I found out that I am a pseudo-accomadator listener, at least sometimes and with certain people. A pseudo-accomadating listener is someone that says they agree with the other person yet holds onto his/her won views. Or something along those lines. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. I found it quite interesting/funny though. 'Twas amusing.

~~I like using "'Tis, and 'Twas," they are fun~~

Mama Bean and I went to the Lizard/Snake/Amphibian show yesterday. It was really cool. I have decided I want to get a bearded lizard. They are from Australia and kick ass. They go from about 2" ---> 22" in about 1.5 years. It would be fun to have one. I don't know if I am going to be allowed to have lizards in dorms at SAIT though, so I am going to have to wait on it for now. But I will see.

We went to Danny's place for dinner tonight because it is Desiree's birthday tomorrow. When Des' parents showed up they actually remembered me, and my name. I had only met them on one previous occasion and was/am quite impressed that they remembered me, even more so for remembering my name. It made me feel special.

Lack of Professionalism Running Rampant

What is with people passing the blame? Why can't people just suck it up and take the heat? Especially when it was your own fault? I take shit all day, anytime anyone screws up, I am the first line that people talk to and I take the flak. Whatever, I don't really care. I just smile, take it and move on. I know it wasn't me that screwed up, and if it was, I apologize (though I do anyway) and learn from it. But when a client complains to their stylist about something and the stylist promptly says that wasn't me, or I didn't know or what not, and then asks who did it, to the client...What the fuck is up with that? That isn't professional. If you have a problem with something that one of your co-workers did, take it up with them, don't discuss it up with your client or bring them into it. It is like everyone in my salon is out to make the other stylists look bad and improve their standing. They put down the other stylists to their clients, they make snide remarks about them. I just don't understand this attitude. This isn't something that you do. Smarten the fuck up. I never discuss problems in front of the clients. I talk to the people in the back. I don't gossip with the clients (or the staff for that matter) about other clients or staff. When a worker insults another co-worker to a client, what does that say about the workplace? I wouldn't want to go to a place where there is so much internal squabbling. A few of the stylists aren't talking to Carrie because of something she did the other day that pissed them off. So if she talks to them, or asks them something, even in front of clients, they ignore her and walk away. Yes she ahs been a bitch, but that is no reason to treat her like that in front of the clients. I just don't get this total lack of professionalism.

The other day this late-middle-age women walked in and wanted to get her hair done. She wasn't exactly well-kempt and was a little scruffy. Two stylists were behind me when she walked in and they quickly left. When I got the lady to take her coat off and went to find someone to do her hair, I asked the two ladies that were behind me, both said no, saying they were busy, which I knew they weren't. They were the next ones in line for walk-ins yet they both turned her down. And everybody is always bitching about not getting enough walk-ins. I mean "what the fuck?" So I ended up giving her to Mark (my boss) and she ended up getting a perm (lots of money) I don't understand this stuck-up-better-than-others attitude. They won't try to fit in an extra client of theirs that happens to walk in and want something down because they don't want to have to work a little harder or faster. Yet they never stop complaining about having enough clients or making enough money. I just don't understand the mentality of this place. I thought it was supposed to be client/customer first, but not here, at least with most of the stylists. It is they that are first. It is so sad.

That and some of them are so phony. It is enough to make me sick. The way they smile, the way they "oh thank you, that's not necessary, you don't need to do that" as they are reaching for the tip the client is still in the process of pulling out of their wallet. I want to puke. To scream at them. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

I just don't understand them. I need a new job.

Can't sleep, too many worries

okay, it is 11:38pm and I can't sleep.

I have been lying in bed for the past hour or so, with no luck. I am too stressed/strung up on what I am going to do. Where am I going to work? How am I going to get enough money for school? Am I actually going to stick with it this time or is it all going to be for nothing. Well not for nothing, there is alway the experience, but I need an end result. I am not going to get anywhere but even more in debt with all this hopping around. I need a way to save, not make, but save $4000 by the end of the summer. That is about how much I would have taken home by the end of the summer had I gone to basic. So what to do? I just don't know.

I really wish I could fall asleep though. I am tired, but my mind just won't slow down. Too many things to think about, situations to ponder, could've beens to worry about.

ARGHHH!!!

Crushed

I watched, helplessly, as my plans fell apart before my very eyes. Normally I sabotage my own plans through my own false expectations and ideals. This time though, it was out of my control.

I went to the physiotherapist today, he played around for a bit and told me I probably had a stress fracture, that it would probably take about 6 weeks to heal. So he refered me to a foot specialist, saying that he might be able to get me back on my feet in 3 weeks. Hopefully. So with high hopes I called this doctor only to find that I would not be able to see him until June 3. Since I need to do my physical by the end of the month I am SOL. No army for me this summer. I was crushed, still am. I don't know what I am going to do. I can't work at this job till the end of the summer. I won't make enough money. That and I wouldn't be able to stand it. What makes jobs and other such things bearable, is that I always know there is going to be an end. And that end is usually in sight. I know the end of the summer, the start of school is the end, but I have had my mind so set on the end being in June, that I will go nuts if I stay. It is this weird mindset I have with jobs. I just think I need to find something I really enjoy. But I have done alot of different jobs, and I haven't really been happy yet. There have been moments in all my jobs, but I always reach a point where I just can't stand it anymore and I need to move on. This seems to happen alot, unfortunatly.

So what am I going to do for the summer? Frame? Road construction? Landscaping? Labourer? All pay decently with lots of overtime, though all require a vehicle. *shrug* I dunno. I am still crushed about not being able to go. I had my heart so set on this. Everything was planned out. It was all worked out, ready to go off perfectly. Then this had to happen. WHY! What did I do? Did I fuck up? Is there some reason that I am not supposed to go? Some reason to stay? I just...

I am trying to look on the bright side though. I get to see lots of my Jo. A definite plus. We can go camping, I get to see Ani at the Folk Fest, I get to try that legendary cider, go to the stampede. Miss out on the dicipline, the yelling, the testosterone rush, the cock-wagging, the shooting and blowing shit up. The physical intensity. So much. I know just being here with Mama Bean makes up for it, but I so wanted to go. I want to cry, but I know that is just dumb. It just sucks.

I know this happened for a reason. For some reason or other, God deemed it necessary that I be here this summer. Why, I don't know, but I am sure I will find out.

I will find something to do. Something to occupy my time. And look forward to the fall, and the beginning of school. I am excited about that. I am really looking forward to it,

My Ideal Bathroom

When I have my own house, I am going to make sure my bathroom is the way I want it.

1. The toilet paper has to be beside the toilet, not on the wall opposite the toilet.

2. The wall opposing the toilet has to be out of arms reach.

3. The sink should be beside the toilet, or at least the counter the the sink is a part of should be next to the toilet.

4. There can't be a mirror behind the toilet, i.e. when I am standing there peeing, I don't want to see my reflection.

5. Above the toilet, there needs to be a picture or something to attract my attention, so that when I am peeing I am not staring at a blank wall. (I am adept enough at peeing, so that whatever is above the toilet will not distract me in a way that I pee outside of the bowl)

6.The tub must have sliding doors, none of this shower curtain stuff.

7. There needs to be a working fan so that I can take long, steamy showers without rotting the walls. Though I would still like to be able to step out of the shower into a semi-steam room.

8. There can't be a counter above the back of the toilet. This way when there is a problem with the toilet it eases the repair process.

9. Magazines are alright. I am not one for sitting in the bathroom and reading. But some people enjoy this aspect, and who am I to deny them this pleasure?

10. The cupboards underneath the sink have to be all the way to the floor. None of this 6 inches of space underneath the cabinet to collect dust and other shit.

I was just thinking of these things when I came home from the wedding. Just out of the blue.

Oh, BTW, I have tendonitis in my left foot. =( That royaly sucks the big one. I am supposed to go for my physical test on Tues, though I haven't done any cardio on the past week and I have to rest for the nest week and a half. The doctor said it could take 3 months to heal, which is a kick in the nuts because basic is in about 6 weeks...

Sicky

Sore throat

Pounding head

Dry eyes

Tired

Urge to curl up into a little ball in a corner (preferably upon something soft, mmm, while I am wishing, Mama Bean should be there as well, she has a habit of making things all better)

Symptoms I am currently experiencing. I think I need to sleep. I don't think I am going to work until 8 o'clock (i love the way "o'clock" is spelled) tonight.

I just want to curl up and make it all go away.

Sad...two sad entries in a row...yay for me.

Only 20 and my body is already crapping out on me

I don't know what is happening to me. My body is falling apart. I did something to my leg and it is killing me. I have this pain that runs parallel to my shin bone, and into my ankle. It hurts all the time, most expecially while and after running. There is also a spot just above my ankle that is tender to the touch. My physical has been moved to next tuesday, but I haven't run in 4 days because it hurts and I don't want to aggrvate it further. I have to go see the doctor, but I am not sure when I can go.

I can see my life falling to pieces in front of me. If I don't get into the army I am fucked. Maybe I should find out how long I can put off my physical for? First I should go to the doctor though, and find out what is gimping me up. Then I will see about my physical. I think I can run through the pain for my physical, but what if I hurt myself further? To many unknown variables... First to the doctor. Then I will go from there.

A Plague of the Mind

Jealousy. It is a dark and evil feeling. One that feeds off of insecurities and is generally unwelcome. It is a plague. Something that cannot just be dismissed. It sits in the back of ones mind and slowly poisons the thoughts around it, spreading, taking over all concious thought. Once having taken over concious thought, the mind has no choice but to dwell on the thoughts that jealousy has imposed on it. The mind can try to shake it off, to suppress it, push it to the back and hide it behind other, more pleasant thoughts. This is but temporary relief. The jealousy takes the beating and bides its time. It knows that soon, when the mind again lowers its defenses, it will come back in full force, infecting the mind with its unwelcome ideas. It turns the mind away from rational thinking, the one thing that can push jealousy back and eliminate it. Jealousy brings about self-pity, causing the mind to think that it is the one being hurt, not that it is harming others, and so eliminating rational thought. Jealousy causes the mind to lash out, making the mind blame others for the pain it is in. Jealousy doesn't go away, it sits there, and grows stronger.

If it can be pushed back, and rational thought is allowed to enter, the mind can talk to others, and have the jealousy contained or dispelled. Though if not held under close watch jealousy can rear its ugly head again over other thoughts. Causing the circle of pain to continue.

Jealousy is a strange thing. I don't understand it, for if I did, it would not plague my thoughts. It causes unnessecary pain and grief. I wish there was a cure for it, though with lots of love and support it seems to be loosening its grip on me. For that I am thankful.

Victoria's smile, Wonderful God, Wedding Bliss

Move over Nicole Kidman, I have a new favorite celebrity, Victoria Beckham/Addams/Posh Spice. Nicole has the eyes, but Victoria has the smile.

Last Sunday, a little girl was run over by a car in the church parking lot. She is 1 1/2 years old, and the pickup trucks rear wheel rolled right over her. They rushed her to the hospital, but she was fine. It was as if nothing even happened. I saw her in church this Sunday without even a scratch. It is amazing.

I can't believe that Alanna and Kevin are married. I am not sure how long it is going to take to sink in. Their wedding was beautiful. She was gorgeous. Kevin was crying as he stood up there, and I almost started when she walked out, watching the two of them. It was wonderful, magical. Now with Pastor Clyde starting a new series on Marriage, and Heather and Mass's wedding next weekend, there is a lot of marriage/wedding "stuff" surronding me. It is exciting though.

A Hippo Almost Shit On Me

The zoo was so much fun! They have finished the new african and rainforest setups and they are really well done. The hippos new area is really awesome. And we got to see them swim and walk around, and even spray shit at us. I think one of the hippos is sick, and when he shit, he wagged his tail back and forth, spraying shit eveywhere. All the people standing near us all took off running. It was quite amusing except for the awful stench. But it was really cool to see them out of the water. I have only ever seen them just sitting in the water, being boring. I think they have more elephants now too. There are four of them now. And they were really active as well. They were playing with each other, which involved pushing each other around, and poking one another. I think they should have named one of them Jo. She would get along perfect with them. *laugh* Even some of the tigers were up moving around.

The new buildings are really nice, but they make the rest of the park look worse. They didn't put the lions in the Africa section, so they are still outside behind the Africa exhibit. Their setup looked so pitiful after what we had just seen. Maybe they will eventually fix up the rest of the zoo.

It was so much fun yesterday. The temperature was just right, there were very few ppl because it was a weekday, and we got to see lots of the animals moving around. Oh yeah, and we also saw the snow leopard, which I had never seen before. It is always hiding.

And now back to the fun and excitment of the Salon...

A jumble of thoughts

I don't think that the guy at CBC will ever know how much they did for me. Most of them thought I was this crazy rebel kid, that swore too much and didn't follow the rules. I know none of them thought badly of me, but I know they wondered. I spent most of my time there with my eyes closed. Judging ppl and ideas when should have been opening my eyes to new ideas, and ways to look at things. Still evaluating things critically, but not looking at everything as if it were wrong before even giving it a chance.

I don't know why things don't seem to sink in the first time. I also seem to have to do something and quit/leave before realizing how wonderful it was. I want to go back so much now. I miss the people, the atmosphere, the knowledge. I didn't realize it at the time, but I grew so much there. I look at things very differently know. I want that to continue. I miss the people. I miss the guys from my floor. I miss our sister floor. Just the whole atmosphere there. It is weird. Something unlike I have ever experienced before.

The atmosphere is something I am looking forward to at basic. The community. I think it will be different, but fun.

Alanna's getting married on Fri. I still don't know how I feel about it. It just seems strange. Maybe because I don't know Kevin very well? They just don't seem to know what there are doing, where they are going. I am happy for them though. Kevin is a great guy, I am glad he is with Alanna. I just can't believe they are getting married. It seems like just a short time ago we were sitting in Bible study and I had just met her. Hmmm....Well the best to them.

Uncomfortable in my own body

My skin doesn't feel right today. Like somthing is wrong. I don't feel right. My clothes are bothering me, I don't want to stand or sit or lay down. It isn't like I am having a bad day, I just don't feel like I belong in this body. My skin feels funny, not on the outside, but from the inside. It is weird. I hope this feeling goes away soon. This is my body, I should feel comfortable in it.

Am I missing something?

Does not having the urge to go and and get drunk make me an abnormality in today's society? Topher asked me yesterday, "So you really never have the urge to go out and get drunk?" No, I don't. Don't get me wrong, it isn't like I don't enjoy drinking, or even getting drunk for that matter. As long as I am still in partial control, and I don't end up puking, it is great. But I could have just as much fun going out drinking as I would if I were to say, go bowling. When Topher asked me, it really got me thinking. Am I strange? Does this make me less fun of a person? Am I missing something? I dunno...maybe it is just me?

How am I supposed to whip my ass into shape if it is 0 degrees with blowing snow at 74 km/h? It is colder here than it is in Yellowknife. I am supposed to be doing my physical on Fri. Maybe I am making a bigger deal of this than I should be, but it is nerve racking. I have to pass!

Tamara's boy seems pretty cool, though yes, almost too good to be true. He is good looking, has a good job, drives a Harley, is buff, dresses like a skater, and is a bit of a jock. Doesn't really seem like the type for her, but I hope things work out. He seems like a really nice guy. Not a pussy at all. I am impressed.

Later in the day:

ON my home from work today, I stepped in a puddle that came halfway up my calf. So I had to walk 4 blocks, through unplowed sidewalks, with freezing water in my shoe. And dress shoes don't let water out very well, so there was lots of slopping happening. And since the sidewalks weren't plowed I was slipping all over the place. It was brutal. Yay for the City of Calgary and keeping the sidewalks clear. Stupid snow

Yay! 22 Months!

Yay for Mama Bean and I. Yesterday was 22 months! Whoa, almost 2 years. Sometimes it feels like a long time, and other times it is like we just began.

After a week of setting my alarm clock for an hour earlier so I could get up and run, and then turning it off in the morning, I finally got up and went for a morning run today. It was nice. I haven't had to force myself out of bed in a long time. It was really tough, but once I got out of bed it felt good to be up.

Why must this happen?

Some people are so ignorant. I was sitting on the train this morning, and in another seat was this middle-age white trashy women. At one of the stops an asian women got on and sat across from this white woman. This white lady made a big show of pulling her scarf (one of those little silk flowy things) over her mouth and nose, glaring at this other woman. She looked away, out the window, but kept looking over and giving this asian women dirty looks. The asian women was just ignoring her, and I didn't see any visible signs that she noticed, but still. I just wanted to slap that lady. When I read in the paper that ppl on the c-train were avoiding asian ppl because of this whole SARS thing I thought is was just a joke, or a few isolated cases. It was awful. I was so pissed off. Grrrrr.....!

No career in musicals for me...

You don't deserve to be in Jesus Christ Superstar.
Ha. You're stupid. Either you haven't seen
Jesus Christ Superstar, or you didn't like it.
That's insane. You have no taste. You
probably think Grease is the best musical ever.
Poser.

What role should you play in Jesus Christ Superstar?
brought to you by Quizilla

I gotta love my job. So far today I have read 180 pages in a book I just started. I feel bad about it though. At the same time there are ppl, like Jo, that are working their asses off to finish shit for school and I am sitting around reading a book and getting paid. Granted the pay is just enough to live on, but still... I feel kinda bad. *sigh* But what can I do. I will go back to work and finish my book.